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update from sparkleup

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Madison Scott-Clary 2021-05-21 21:15:05 -07:00
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8
writing/sawtooth/limerent-object/61.md
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@ -64,4 +64,10 @@ A soft hum on the other side of the screen, that soft noise the priest always ma
The weight on my shoulders slid down and off of me. "Thank you, Father."
(certainly not talking to kay, go into talking with god with scene from discerment)
That was Wednesday, and coming on Friday evening, now, I still do not know the root of my jealousy.
I waffle still. Sometimes, it feels like envy. It feels like I'm craving something that I cannot have, something that is being kept from me in some form or another. Other times, however, I recognize that there is nothing keeping me from 'having' Dee, and that perhaps I am simply jealous of something that I do not yet have, but see myself having in the future.
And other times still, both words fail, and I'm left simply with yearning.
I'm left with yearning, and I know that the only one who I am hurting in these situations is me.

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writing/sawtooth/limerent-object/index.md
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@ -55,10 +55,11 @@ Told in the form of journal entries after long online conversations, complete wi
* [o] [A dream](40)
* [o] [Leaving seminary vs liking Kay](50)
* [o] [Dee chickens out](60)
* [ ] [Confession](61)
* [o] [Confession](61)
* [o] [Projection](70)
* [.] [Egodystonic attraction](71)
* [ ] [Calling Borenson](81)
* [ ] [Talking with God](90)
* [ ]
* [.] [The conversation](xx)
* [ ] [Talking with God again](xx1)