update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/033.md

@@ -290,9 +290,9 @@ After a few slow breaths, she shook her head and slumped over to the side, drapi
 
 "Uh...yeah. Stupid, awkward, and confusing is about the long and short of it-- What? Oh." Ey hesitantly brushed fingers over her ears as ey'd done countless times before with May. Her fur felt exactly the same, her voice was very nearly the same, and were it not for the difference in clothes and the benefit of two and half decades of time spent living with May, ey could probably have confused one for the other. "Too awkward?"
 
-"I do not know. The closer I get, the more May I feel, so the greater part of me is simply pleased to be touched, and by none other than you," she mumbled against the beanbag. "But I am not her, so the rest of me is unsure of what to make of it. Completely baffled, even. Do I feel like her to you? We are cut from the same cloth, are we not? This ought to feel the same, yes? Does it?"
+"I do not know. The closer to another I get, the more May I feel, so the greater part of me is simply pleased to be touched, and by none other than you," she mumbled against the beanbag. "But I am not her, so the rest of me is unsure of what to make of it. Completely baffled, even. Do I feel like her to you? We are cut from the same cloth, are we not? This ought to feel the same, yes? Does it?"
 
-"Almost exactly and not at all." 
+"Almost exactly," ey said, then laughed. "And not at all." 
 
 The skunk squirmed enough to get her tail off to the side and her face away from the fabric of the cushion, resting her chin on folded arms instead. "That is where I am. It is not unpleasant, and I think I may even enjoy it once the confusion subsides, but I will forever be of three minds."
 
@@ -300,7 +300,7 @@ The skunk squirmed enough to get her tail off to the side and her face away from
 
 She nodded. "It may yet be enough for Jonas, but even if not, I think that it will be enough for me. It is stupid and awkward, but-- no, do not stop," she interrupted herself, laughing, when ey pulled eir hand away. "Awkward, but not bad."
 
-They fell into thought, then. Or at least ey did. Ey kept up the careful petting while trying to tease apart eir feelings on the matter. It all felt too big, leaving em feeling in far over eir head. Even trying to define what True Name was now felt far above eir pay grade. Ey'd read up on plurality in the past, and this felt similar, yet inexact. The comparison was there to be made, and doubtless much that had gone in to working with plurality would prove useful here, but the addition of the concurrent nature of their memories added a layer of complication.
+They fell into thought, then. Or at least ey did. Ey kept up the careful petting while trying to tease apart eir feelings on the matter. It all felt too big, leaving em feeling in far over eir head. Even trying to define what True Name was now felt far above eir pay grade. Ey'd read up on plurality in the past, and this felt similar, yet inexact. The comparison was there to be made, and doubtless much that had gone in to working with plurality would prove useful here, but the addition of the concurrent nature of their memories added a layer of complication.<!--this feels like an apology-->
 
 Doubtless there was some way ey could just approach this simply, could just share uncomplicated time with friends. Something about the Odists just made that feel inaccessible, though. All of them were so complicated in such roundabout ways, and now True Name triply so.
 
@@ -310,9 +310,9 @@ The skunk started at the sound of eir voice. "Sorry, dear. I was dozy. What was
 
 Ey smiled and ruffled a hand through the fur between her ears before petting it down again. "What will you do after this stuff with Jonas? You mentioned the change would be enough for you, but what will that look like?"
 
-"I will relax," she said, pushing herself slowly upright once more, slouching against eir side more intentionally, this time. "I will perhaps have a good night's sleep. I will walk sims for a few days. I will go camping. I will pester you and May, if you two are not sick to death of me by then."
+"I will relax," she said, pushing herself slowly upright once more, slouching against eir side more intentionally, this time. "I will perhaps have a good night's sleep. I will walk sims for days. I will go camping. I will pester you and May, if you two are not sick to death of me by then."
 
-"No, it's fine. A break might be nice, but I don't imagine we'll kick you out forever and never see you again," ey said, laughing. "And I hope you won't disappear."
+"No, it's fine. A break while you're camping might be nice, but I don't imagine we'll kick you out forever and never see you again," ey said, laughing. "And I hope you won't disappear."
 
 "I will not, you need not worry." She shrugged against eir shoulder. "Beyond that, I do not know. I may write."
 
@@ -338,7 +338,7 @@ She sighed, bringing her tail around to groom it absentmindedly. "She is scared
 
 Unsure of what ey could possibly say to those thoughts, ey just nodded.
 
-"But come, that is enough of that," she said decisively. "Five sixths of me still want to rip that smug look off Jonas's face, so that sad-sack part of me can go have her sulk another time. I would also like to get out. I would like to go to restaurants again, yes, and even see one of your plays, should I be welcome. I want to eat greasy food and drink myself to sleep after performances. I want to hop sims and dream. New deadline: one month. I want out of hear within one month."
+"But come, that is enough of that," she said decisively. "Five sixths of me still want to rip that smug look off Jonas's face, so that sad-sack part of me can go have her sulk another time. I would also like to get out. I would like to go to restaurants again, yes, and even see one of your plays, should I be welcome. I want to eat greasy food and drink myself silly after performances. I want to hop sims and dream. New deadline: one month. I want out of here within one month."
 
 "You mean for the meeting with Jonas?"
 
@@ -350,7 +350,7 @@ Unsure of what ey could possibly say to those thoughts, ey just nodded.
 
 They both froze.
 
-"Fuck, I am sorry, Ioan, a habit--"
+"Fuck. I am sorry, Ioan, a habit--"
 
 "Well, that was--" ey said at the same time, then shook eir head. "Sorry, True Name. Wasn't expecting that."
 
@@ -358,7 +358,7 @@ She pushed herself quickly to her feet and began pacing before the beanbag, paws
 
 Ey frowned. "It was unexpected, but I don't know if it crossed--"
 
-"It crossed one of *my* boundaries," she said, then forced herself to stand still and slow her breathing. "Sorry, dear. Like I said, it is awkward and confusing. I feel like I have been given control of some new, unwieldy machine and am learning how to use it through trial and error."
+"It crossed one of *my* boundaries," she said, then forced herself to stand still and slow her breathing as she stared out into the night through the windows. "Sorry, dear. Like I said, it is awkward and confusing. I feel like I have been given control of some new, unwieldy machine and am only learning how to use it through trial and error."
 
 Ey nodded, tamping down the urge to apologize again. "Take the space you need."