update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/027.md

@@ -6,7 +6,7 @@ Still, that night, they slept for more than ten hours. It had taken May a while
 
 Eventually, though, they settled down into their usual spots and made it to sleep. 
 
-It was almost certainly the stress from the day before, ey reasoned. So much had happened in so short a time. Even the time spent relaxing on the beanbag with May felt at least productive, if still restful. So much had been packed into those last few hours, though, and so much emotion overall through the day, that sleep became necessary.
+It was almost certainly the stress from the day before, ey reasoned. So much had happened in so short a time. Even the time spent relaxing on the beanbag with May felt at least productive, if still restful. So much had been packed into those last few hours, though, and so much emotion overall through the day, that sleep became an imperative.
 
 True Name had spent most of the rest of the evening outside, dragging one of eir chairs down from the balcony to park herself in the yard. Despite the lingering vestiges of snow and the chill of the evening, she spent hours out there, either staring up into the sky or grooming bits of forest litter out of her fur.
 
@@ -14,10 +14,12 @@ Ey imagined that she must have made it into bed at some point, though she still
 
 Ioan sent her a gentle sensorium ping, just to let her know that they were awake, then sat at eir desk. Ey had no clue what to even do, there, but if nothing else, ey had to have something comforting in front of em, something known. 
 
-"Well, nothing for it," ey mumbled, swiped a new notebook into being, and began to compile notes of the last few weeks. If ey was to write a book of this whole crazy affair, might as well keep eir thoughts organized.
+"Well, nothing for it," ey mumbled, swiped a new notebook into being, and began to compile notes of the last few weeks. The work ey'd already done on the topic was useful enough, but it was starting to feel like it was time to begin in earnest.
 
 Ey began with a timeline, starting all the way back at the arrival of the Artemisians and that first meeting with True Name. Then followed the list of the times they'd met for coffee through the years. Ey dug through eir memories for any that stood out as particularly interesting. These were primarily early on, ey found, when they were still feeling out each others' boundaries, though the last few before the assassination attempt held some fascinating insights in the context of all that had happened since, as well.
 
+There was also information to fill in on the master timeline for the *History*, as well. Information about Zacharias, about End Waking's divergence from True Name.
+
 Finally, the last almost three weeks were laid out in much finer detail. The assassination, the clearing of the house, the meeting with End Waking, all the way up through the meeting with Zacharias the night before.
 
 "Ioaaan," May whined, pawing feebly at eir arm. "Hungryyy."
@@ -37,9 +39,9 @@ Ey chose the last of the poor skunk's risotto, added a healthy dusting of pepper
 
 She grinned. "That sounds cheesy. However, let us go with a plain of some sort. I do not want to go back to a forest unless it is the one I remember, and a park would be too sterile. Is there nothing like Arrowhead Lake?"
 
-Ey dug a little further, an act that was more akin to remembering than any actual physical browsing. It let em finish eir lunch, at least.
+Ey dug a little further, an act more akin to remembering than any actual physical browsing. It let em finish eir lunch, at least.
 
-"Alright, here's one that's a plain with a river and an oxbow lake. The landscape is just mirrored at the boundaries though, so it looks a little funny at the edges."
+"Alright, here's one that's a plain with a river and an oxbow lake. The landscape is just mirrored at the boundaries though, so it looks a little funny beyond the edges."
 
 The skunk had perked up at the mention of the river and was already nodding. "That will do quite nicely, my dear. Are you able to scale it so that it will be a good size, at least?"
 
@@ -51,29 +53,29 @@ She shrugged. "If you are willing, yes."
 
 "Please," she said gratefully.
 
-The three of them stood and walked into the skunk's room. Ey was somewhat crestfallen to see that ey really had just mirrored the view out of her window, as there was the chair she had been sitting in before lunch. That would mean ey'd have to place the new plot of land first, then modify the house again.
+The three of them stood and walked into her room. Ey was somewhat crestfallen to see that ey really had just mirrored the view out of her window, as there was the chair she had been sitting in before lunch. That would mean ey'd have to place the new plot of land first, then modify the house again.
 
 Ah well, easy enough.
 
-Ey dumped a chunk of reputation into the purchase of the sim. Ey had plenty of reputation and it wasn't a very pricey one, but it was still a noticeable ding, and ey was sure that Jonas would be keeping tabs on eir acquisitions. There was nothing to be done about it, though.
+Ey dumped a chunk of reputation into the purchase of the environment. Ey had plenty of reputation and it wasn't very pricey, but it was still a noticeable ding, and ey was sure that Jonas would be keeping tabs on eir acquisitions. There was nothing to be done about it, though.
 
-The sim landed on eir mind much as a pending merge might, demanding to be placed somewhere. Ey instructed the sim to put it in the corner formed by the fence of their yard and True Name's bedroom, expanded to be a mile on a side.
+The environment landed on eir mind much as a pending merge might, demanding to be placed somewhere. Ey instructed the sim to put it in the corner formed by the fence of their yard and True Name's bedroom, expanded to be a mile on a side.
 
 Once the pressure of the environment left eir mind, ey was free to instruct the sim to let the window view the new land, and from there to add an extension of the balcony, a second stairway down, and a door leading out from her room to the balcony.
 
-Ey stepped over and slid the door open, beckoning to the two skunks. "Alright, let's head out and check on it."
+Ey slid the door open, beckoning to the two skunks. "Alright, let's head out and check on it."
 
-As promised, they were greeted with what looked to be an endless series of perfectly parallel rivers fading into the distance with the way the boundaries simply mirrored the empty plain on the sides. The fact that the oxbow lakes were also repeated set up a grid effect that was slightly unnerving. Thankfully, the effect lessened when they went down the steps and into the grass itself. They found the grass to be fairly well made and the ground to be delightfully uneven; no small feat when it was so easy to make a perfectly flat plain. 
+As promised, they were greeted with what looked to be an endless series of perfectly parallel rivers fading into the distance with the way the boundaries simply mirrored the empty plain on the sides. The fact that the oxbow lakes were also repeated set up a grid effect that was slightly unnerving. Thankfully, the effect disappeared when they went down the steps and into the grass itself. They found the grass to be fairly well made and the ground to be delightfully uneven; no small feat when it was so easy to make a perfectly flat plain. 
 
 "I can maybe have the boundaries look like fog, if that helps. You'll have fog all the way around you, but at least no repeating rivers."
 
-Both skunks stiffened, then shook their heads as one.
+Both skunks straightened up, alarmed, then shook their heads as one.
 
 "Please do not, Mx. Bălan. This will be fine as is."
 
 The formality in her voice and the stiffness of her tone did not invite em to continue the topic, so ey did eir best to drop it. "Alright. Well, I guess we can give this a go for a bit and make changes if we need. The weather and sun are synced across the whole sim, so if you need it warmer or drier, just let me know."
 
-True Name bowed. "Thank you, my dear. This will suit me quite well. It is a bit strange seeing a fence and part of a house, but at least that means I will be able to find my way back. May I have ACLs here?"
+True Name bowed. "Thank you, Ioan. This will suit me quite well. It is a bit strange seeing a fence and part of a house, but at least that means I will be able to find my way back. May I have ACLs here?"
 
 Ey nodded and made the grant.
 
@@ -87,11 +89,11 @@ True Name tilted her head. "It was not safe there, May Then My Name. This will b
 
 "Yes, but thank you all the same." She laughed and waved a hand. "I am sorry, disregard me. I am still not yet at baseline, and it has me feeling emotional."
 
-The other skunk's expression softened and she leaned forward to give one of her paws a squeeze. It looked stiff and formal, but it was at least an attempt at a gesture that was more in line with May's mode of interacting.
+The other skunk's expression softened and she leaned forward to give one of her paws a squeeze. It looked stiff and awkward, but it was at least an attempt at a gesture that was more in line with May's mode of interacting.
 
 "I understand. I do not think I am there, yet, myself. I will see you at dinner, yes?"
 
-Ioan and May both nodded and made their goodbyes. As a last concession to giving the skunk privacy, ey made a small gate in the fence leading into their yard so that they'd not have to go through her room if they needed to go out into her plain for any reason. It meant pushing through lilac bushes, but ey figured it'd be rarely used.
+Ioan and May both nodded and made their goodbyes. As a last concession to giving the skunk privacy, ey made a small gate in the fence leading into their yard so that they wouldn't have to go through her room if they needed to go out into her plain for any reason. It meant pushing through lilac bushes, but ey figured it'd be rarely used.
 
 "Can you work on the beanbag, Ioan?" May asked once they were back inside.