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update from sparkleup

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Madison Scott-Clary 2022-05-07 13:40:07 -07:00
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writing/post-self/mitzvot/029.md
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@ -40,7 +40,29 @@ May dipped her muzzle and apologized as well, saying, "I do feel bad about how t
May nodded.
((Maybe a bit more))
"I am of two minds," True Name said. "I remember having loved Debarre. I remember still loving him, and perhaps even I, even True Name, still love him in a roundabout way. However, I am what I am, and that is a being of two minds. That of me which is you, End Waking, loves him, and that of me which is True Name, respects him from a distance, respects his distaste for me, that feeling I engendered to minimize the his impact within the council by making it so purely emotional, as much as it hurt to do so."
"The same as you did with me and Codrin?" Ioan asked. "With the history, I mean."
She nodded. "It was-- it felt like a necessity at the time. I am not some cold, unfeeling bitch, it is just that my drive and my abilities, such as they are, outweigh --- or at least outweighed --- those feelings. I worked to distance myself from them."
"I remember so little of that," May said.
True Name shrugged. "As you intentionally moved towards feeling, I worked to minimize it within myself. I became a being is negative commandments. I lived the 'shalt not's while you performed your *mitzvot* of loving and caring."
May sighed.
"I will not say that I am proud of it, my dear, but neither will I say that I regret it."
"Perhaps you will learn from your merge," End Waking said.
"Perhaps. Perhaps it will become a part of me, perhaps it will live within me alongside that of you and that of True Name."
"Still feeling fractured?" Ioan asked.
"Yes. I do not know if I will feel... I do not know. I am not comfortable speaking further on this just yet."
They spent the rest of the night in quiet, May leaning against eir side while TN and End Waking spoke quietly about the plain.
Finally, though, a week to the day after the topic had first come up, Ioan awoke to find May and True Name already sitting at the table, speaking earnestly in a cone of silence. Once they noticed em, True Name waved it away and May grinned, saying, "Sorry, my dear. We did not want to wake you."