update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/marsh/002.md

@@ -454,7 +454,7 @@ An awkward silence lingered, overstaying its welcome. Eventually, Dry Grass's sh
 
 Lily pointedly looked away.
 
-"They continue to manage the situation, I mean, and, from the sounds of it, they are describing it as an issue with the Deep Space Network and the Lagrange station. There are few mentions of the Lagrange *System* itself. I can read between the lines as well as any of them, though, and I do not think this is true. At least, not wholly."
+"They continue to manage the situation, I mean, and, from the sounds of it, they are describing it as an issue with the Deep Space Network and the Lagrange *station*. There are few mentions of the Lagrange *System* itself. I can read between the lines as well as any of them, though, and I do not think this is true. At least, not wholly."
 
 "Wait," Cress said. "So they're saying that there's a problem with the DSN and the station? How do you mean?"
 
@@ -464,11 +464,11 @@ Lily pointedly looked away.
 
 "But nothing about the System?"
 
-Both Sedge and Dry Grass shook their heads. "There isn't actually all that much news from phys-side," Sedge admitted. "Like, less than a month's worth."
+Both Sedge and Dry Grass shook their heads. "There isn't actually all that much news from phys-side," Sedge admitted. "Like, less than a week's worth."
 
 "What did you mean about reading between the lines, though, love?" Tule asked.
 
-"The messages are very stilted. There is panic beneath the surface. That they mention so little about Lagrange is as telling as if they were to say they did not know. They *do* know, they are just refusing to talk about it over messages." She paused. "Or the messages that are being let through, at least?"
+"The messages are very stilted. There is panic beneath the surface. That they mention so little about Lagrange is as telling as if they were to say they did not know. They *do* know, they are just refusing to talk about it over messages." She paused. "Or the messages that are being let through, at least."
 
 "Why?" Lily asked. While there was still an edge to her voice, genuine concern covered it well.
 
@@ -480,17 +480,17 @@ She shrugged, another sheepish motion, and looked away. "Do you really expect th
 
 I stole a glance at Lily. She looked to be spending every joule of energy on keeping her mouth shut.
 
-There had been an enormous row within the clade when first Cress, then Tule, had gotten in a relationship with a member of the Ode clade. Most of the Marshans had largely written off the stories of the Odists' political meddling as overly fantastic schlock, yet more myths to keep the functionally immortal entertained. Even if they had their basis in truth, they remained only stories.
+There had been an enormous row within the clade when first Cress, then Tule, had gotten in a relationship with a member of the Ode clade. Most of the Marshans had largely written off the stories of the Ode clade's political meddling as overly fantastic schlock, yet more myths to keep the functionally immortal entertained. Even if they had their basis in truth, they remained only stories.
 
 Lily, however, had had an immediate and dramatic reaction, cutting contact with the rest of the clade — including Marsh — for more than a year. She had even refused to merge down for years until tempers had settled.
 
-Hanne spoke up. "Listen, can we maybe give this a few hours to play out? I need to sleep, and if Reed doesn't take a break, he's going to explode."
+Hanne spoke up. "Listen, can we maybe give this a bit to play out? I need to sleep, and if Reed doesn't take a break, he's going to explode."
 
 The others laughed. I felt a twinge of resentment. Shouldn't they be dumping all of their energy into this? Shouldn't they all fork several times over and throw themselves at the problem? Still, it was true enough, and if they stood around the living room spinning their wheels any longer, tempers would continue to flare.
 
-"Yeah," I said. "Give me at least four hours. I'll do a little digging and grab some sleep, then maybe we can meet up somewhere else and talk through what we've learned."
+"Yeah," I said. "Give me at least a few hours. I'll do a little digging and grab some sleep, then maybe we can meet up somewhere else and talk through what we've learned."
 
-"I'll keep digging at phys-side news," Sedge said. "Want to help, Rush?"
+"I'll keep digging at the feeds," Sedge said. "Want to help, Rush?"
 
 Ve nodded.
 
@@ -506,9 +506,9 @@ Cress shook its head, leans over, and hugged her. "Take the time you need."
 
 "Really, really weird," Sedge muttered.
 
-One by one, the other Marshans stepped away from my and Hanne's sim until it was just the two of us, the fire crackling, the weight of the evening hanging over, between us. We stood in silence for a few long moments before I stumbled back over to the couch and fell heavily into the cushions. I buried my face in my hands and only then let the grief take me.
+As one, the other Marshans stepped away from my and Hanne's sim, leaving just the two of us, the fire crackling, the weight of the evening hanging over, between us. We stood in silence for a few long moments before I stumbled back over to the couch and fell heavily into the cushions. I buried my face in my hands and only then let the grief take me.
 
-Hanne sat beside me, got her arm around my back. She rested her head on my shoulder as the wave of emotion overcame me. At first, she asked if I was alright, then she whispered a few "I'm sure it'll work out"s and "it's going to be okay"s before eventually just sitting with me in silence.
+Hanne sat beside me, arm around my back. She rested her head on my shoulder as the wave of emotion overtook me. At first, she asked if I was alright, then she whispered a few "I'm sure it'll work out"s and "it's going to be okay"s before eventually just sitting with me in silence.
 
 "This is really fucking weird," I said once I was able to speak again. The sound of speech echoed strangely in my head, muffled in that post-cry mess. "I don't even know who I'm crying for. It's not like they're a parent, I came from them, but they aren't me, either."
 
@@ -526,7 +526,7 @@ Hanne nudged me gently with her shoulder. "Come on, Reed. Let's get you to bed."
 
 "Still," she said, leaning over to kiss my cheek. It felt too hot, too intense a sensation, but calmness radiated from that spot all the same. "If nothing else, you can lay down in the dark and give your poor eyes a break. Plus, *I* need to sleep, at least."
 
-How could I stand, knowing as I did that the clade had become unmoored? How could I think of sleep when there might be some remnant of Marsh somewhere in the wires? Some ghost of them in the machine that was the System? If this System was a dream, as Dry Grass and the rest of her clade had promised the world, then oughtn't there be some wisp of them, some memory from which deeper archives could be dredged? Even a Marsh from decades ago would still be a Marsh worth bringing back.
+How could I stand, knowing as I did that the clade had become unmoored? How could I think of sleep when there might be some remnant of Marsh somewhere in the wires? Some ghost of them in the machine that was the System? If this System was a dream, as Dry Grass and the rest of her clade had promised the world, then oughtn't there be some wisp of them, some memory from deeper archives which could be dredged? Even a Marsh from decades ago would still be a Marsh worth bringing back.
 
 I sighed, nodded dully, and let her pull me to my feet.
 

writing/post-self/marsh/003.md

@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
-As expected, sleep did not come. Exhaustion pulled at me, exerting its own gravity, but too many emotions crowded it out. Too many emotions and too many thoughts. I spent a few minutes chiding myself --- shouldn't I sleep, if only to be more refreshed for the next day? --- before giving in and letting my mind circle around each of those emotions, each of those thoughts.
+As expected, sleep did not come. Exhaustion pulled at me, exerting its own gravity, but too many emotions crowded it out. Too many emotions and too many thoughts. I spent a few minutes chiding myself --- shouldn't I sleep, if only to be more refreshed for the next day? --- before giving in and letting my mind circle around each of those emotions, each of those thoughts. I don't know for how long I cycled.
 
 There was the faintest brush against my sensorium. Vos.
 
@@ -38,7 +38,7 @@ Her reply was gentle. *"So are we, Reed. Just laying in bed, staring at nothing.
 
 *"Not well."*
 
-*He seemed like it hit him really hard, yeah.*
+*"He seemed like it hit him really hard, yeah."*
 
 A pause, and then she sent, quieter than before, *"I don't want to say this is hitting any one of us harder than the other, but...well, we care for him. That was our dynamic, I mean. He's young and full of emotions, so we occasionally fall into that guardian role. It hit him hard, and so he needs care, but..."*
 
@@ -58,7 +58,7 @@ It was both our arms, too, I know that. They kept their life separate from mine,
 
 They'd laugh whenever it came up, saying, "So I'm greedy. Sue me."
 
-We'd all laugh, too. It wasn't really greed, that desire for our memories in a way that we could never get in return. It was just the dynamic that we held to ever since I'd been forked. Of course it was mutual: I *was* them when I'd been forked. An exact copy that only slowly diverged over the years. It had been my idea as much as theirs.
+We'd all laugh, too. It wasn't really greed, that desire for our memories in a way that we could never get in return. It was just the dynamic that we held to ever since I'd been forked. Of course it was mutual: I *was* them when I'd been forked. An exact copy that only slowly diverged over the years. It had been my idea as much as theirs. That Lily had been talking to them some hours ago was an aberration, a new thing.
 
 I thought of Marsh, their laugh, their words, their open expression, the way their tousled, brown hair always fell in front of their eyes, the way the loose and soft clothing they wore hung off their frame, the bright colors of silk and cotton.
 
@@ -78,6 +78,6 @@ The seat of the bench had been worn smooth by who knows how many butts over the
 
 I sighed and slouched against the back of the bench. Exhaustion was warring against the drive to do *something*, and both of those were striving against the need to be alone and away from this whole spectacle. All of those "how can I" questions were clattering up against equal-sized armies of "too tired"s and "it doesn't need to happen now"s.
 
-I spent an hour out there, all told. I picked at the bench. I called out to the sheep. I walked circles around the pagoda in the gray day. I bent down, pluck a blade of grass with the intent to...I don't know, chew on it like I've seen in films, but it smelled so strongly of sheep manure that I dropped it instead and headed home to finally lay down beside Hanne and sleep.
+I spent an hour out there, all told. I picked at the bench. I called out to the sheep. I walked circles around the pagoda in the gray day. I bent down, plucked a blade of grass with the intent to...I don't know, chew on it like I've seen in films, but it smelled so strongly of sheep manure that I dropped it instead and headed home to finally lay down beside Hanne and sleep.
 
 -----