154 lines
6.5 KiB
Markdown
154 lines
6.5 KiB
Markdown
%title Limerent Object (WT)
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:short-story:fiction:sawtooth:furry:
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For RAWR, a [prequel](discernment)
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### Brief outline
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* [o] The slow formation of a crush
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* [o] Falling for anyone who's the slightest bit nice to you
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* [o] Intolerable limerence
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* [o] Limerence as unwanted emotional attraction
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* [o] pining
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* [o] dreaming about just being close, casual affection, etc
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* [o] Not wanting to talk about it b/c afraid of coercion
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* [o] Just try to be the best person you can be for them
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* [.] Except that just makes it all the more intense
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* [ ] Crisis point and denouement
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* [ ] Bounce off each other at some point and the limerence starts to fade
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* [ ] Picture what would have happened had they gotten together.
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Told in the form of journal entries after long online conversations, complete with snippets
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Goal: 40-50k words
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(why leave seminary: with church heading toward tending only to the members of the church, Dee felt as though he was leaving behind large swaths of people)
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(why the sense of duty and control: old-fashioned family of blue-collar coyotes - domestic animals being royalty, remember - pushed hard to lift him up)
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Epigraph: εκαρδίωσας ημάς ενί από οφθαλμών σου εν μία ενθέματι τραχήλου σου - you have ravished my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one bead of your necklace.
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### Characters
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* Dewí "Dee" Kimana
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* Coyote guy
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* Psychologist
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* Raised very religious
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* Has a crush on...
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* Kay
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* Coyote gal
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* Music grad student at UI Boise
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* Transferred after a year, met in the last few weeks of shared class
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* Not religious, and the thing that they bounce off each other on down the line is her refusal to not demonize religion
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* Jeremy
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* Dee's therapist
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* Encourages Dee to start journaling as a way to work through these new emotions
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* Rev. Dr. Borenson
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* Saint Bernard
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* Dee's old advisor at St John's university
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## Story
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### Using romance beats
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1. [O] [Goal/agenda](beats/01-agenda)
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* [O] A: Likes Kay, emotional literacy
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* [O] [10](10)
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* [O] B: Left pastoral life/path, no love = okay
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* [O] [21](21)
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2. [O] [Meet cute](beats/02-meet-cute) (working backwards)
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* [O] A: Library
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* [O] [20](20) --- Meet at library
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* [O] [30](30) --- Thinking back to first crush
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3. [o] [No way #1](beats/03-no-way-1)
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* [o] A: The dream...but no, wouldn't work
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* [o] [40](40) --- the dream
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* [o] [60](60) --- couldn't tell, neurodivergent
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* [o] B: Good that I left. Besides, used to celibacy
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* [o] [50](50) --- post dream, left on a whim, why?
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4. [o] [Stuck together](beats/04-stuck-together)
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* [o] A: Lunches
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* [o] [31](31) --- Lunch 1: first lunch, actually chatting
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* [o] [51](51) --- Lunch 2: lent
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* [o] [72](72) --- Lunch 3: post-recital
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5. [.] [No way #2](beats/05-no-way-2)
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* [o] A: Limerence is egodystonic
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* [o] [61](61) --- confession
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* [o] [71](71) --- egodystonic attraction
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* [o] [70](70)? --- talk with jeremy
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* [ ] B: Reaffirm left, even if faith = very important
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6. [.] [Bone town](beats/06-bone-town)
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* [.] A: Visit, finally acknowledge feelings may be real (okay but are they actually gonna bone)
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7. [o] Seeds of doubt
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* [.] [Wallow #1](beats/07-seeds-of-doubt--1-wallow-1) - I knew better when...
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* [ ] A: [Weird concert/dinner](wallow-1-concert-feast)
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* [o] B: [Discernment - discussion with Borenson](lo-discernment-1)
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* [o] [Retreat](beats/07-seeds-of-doubt--2-retreat) - soft spots exposed
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* [o] A: Back to hotel, then hike by himself, talking with god
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* [o] [52](52) --- Remembering talking with god after moving back to sawtooth
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* [o] [53](53) --- Talking about previous entry, then goes for hike
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* [o] B: [Discernment - talk with god, decide to go with it](lo-discernment-3)
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* [o] [Choose fear](beats/07-seeds-of-doubt--3-choose-fear) - break up!
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* [o] A: [Hanging out, reading ???: totes not going to work out](choose-fear-1)
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* [o] B: [Discernment - struggling with self definition](lo-discernment-2)
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* [.] [Wallow #2](beats/07-seeds-of-doubt--4-wallow-2)
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* [o] B: [Discernment - leaving](lo-discernment-4)
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* [ ] A: Going home, feeling rough re: giving up
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8. [ ] [Choose love](beats/08-choose-love)
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* [ ] A: Decide maybe it's worth it as a way to move forward for once
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9. [ ] [Plan](beats/09-plan)
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* [ ] A: Drafts email
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* [ ] B: Talks to god
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10. [.] [Grand gesture](beats/10-grand-gesture)
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* [.] A: The Conversation™ (email)
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* [.] [90](90)
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11. [ ] [Ends with "no"](beats/11-ends-with-no)
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* [ ] A: Kay had picked up on it, decides pretty firmly on her end that she wants to keep friendship. Sigh, ah well (text, then call)
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12. [ ] [Payoff](beats/12-payoff) (probably just one chapter of what-ifs)
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* [ ] A: Limerence fades, settle back into new, more open friendship/what could have been
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* [ ] B: Doubt fades, settle into lay life/what could have been
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13. [ ] [Epilogue/hope](beats/13-epilogue) (again, probably just one chapter)
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* [ ] A: Plans another visit/okay being friends
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* [ ] B: Starts volunteering MH counselling services at church. --- Feast of St KT.
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### Old outline
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* [O] Act I
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* [O] [Starting to journal](10)
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* [O] [Liminal spaces and history](20)
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* [O] [A sudden memory](21)
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* [O] [Early crush](30)
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* [O] [Lunch 1 with Kay](31)
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* [O] [A dream](40)
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* [o] Act II
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* [o] [Leaving seminary vs liking Kay](50)
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* [o] [Lunch 2 with Kay](51)
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* [o] [Talking with god part 1](52) !
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* [ ] [Talking with god part 2](53) !
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* [ ] [Visiting Kay part 1](54) !
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* [ ] [Visiting Kay part 2](55) !
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* [o] [Dee chickens out](60)
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* [o] [Confession](61)
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* [o] [Projection](70)
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* [o] [Egodystonic attraction](71)
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* [ ] [Lunch 3 with Kay](72)
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* [.] Act III
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* [ ] [Calling Borenson](80)
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* [ ] [Talking with God](86)
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* [ ]
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* [.] [The conversation](90)
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* [ ] Conclusion
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* [ ] What would have happened
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* [ ] Talking with God again
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### Todo
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* [.] Include more Job/Ecclesiastes-type thoughts
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* [ ] Quote scripture?
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* [X] Integrate prequel in Dee's words
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* [ ] Flesh out between current chapters.
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* [ ] Takes place around July 14, feast of St Kateri Tekakwitha
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* [ ] Make Dee's qualms about the church more in line with Discernment and less about doctrine of good works (because that's actually totally the catholics' thing)
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* [ ] A few subplots!
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[Feedback](feedback).
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