zk/writing/post-self/mitzvot/034.md

Ioan had never been one for bars. Ey knew that there was an enormous variety of them, and that doubtless some would play to eir aesthetic and likes --- the one at the base of the System Central Library came quite close --- and that not all of them subscribed to the "if it's louder, that means everyone's having more fun" school of design. There was just something about the idea, perhaps. Too much that took place in bars was, at best, confusing. At worst, it was distressing. Ey had no desire to be around the types of drunkenness that bars seemed to attract. May had a list of types of drunkenness she'd gotten from somewhere, ey knew, and ey didn't like any of them. Still, this is where Jonas had requested that they meet when ey messaged him. The venue was of the sultry, dark, wood-paneled variety, with warm, dim lamps hanging pendant over each of the tables and a row of lights above the bar itself. Conversations were kept low by the dimness, with groups of three or four huddled in booths while those at the bar drank alone. Doubtless Jonas knew of eir distaste, as well, and doubtless this had factored into his decision on venue for this pre-meeting meeting. Ah well, at least it wasn't a club. Ey stopped by the bar to get a cider of some sort --- something sweet; ey didn't know the first thing about ciders --- and hunted down an empty booth. The backs of the benches were straight and high, reaching up to the ceiling, leading to a secluded, if not particularly comfortable, space. There, ey sat and sipped eir way slowly through eir cider, waiting for Jonas. Ey'd shown up, notebook in hand, half an hour early and was half expecting Jonas to be late, sauntering in lazily at quarter past, just as some strange show of power, but he arrived right on time, picked up a drink from the bar, and hunted Ioan down. Ey began to stand to bow to Jonas, then froze. Zacharias stepped into the sim, as well, grinned widely at the sight of Ioan mid-bow and, before even making his way to the table, gave an exaggerated curtsey. "Ioan, wonderful to see you again," Jonas said, grinning. "My most foppish lackey decided to tag along, I trust you won't mind." "Of course," ey said through gritted teeth. "The more the merrier." "Precisely, precisely." Jonas raised his martini glass in a toast and gestured back to the booth and Ioan's half-finished drink. "Shall we?" Ey nodded and slid back into the booth while Jonas scooted in on the other side of the table, leaving room for Zacharias. The fox was only a moment in arriving, showing up with some shockingly yellow drink in a coupe glass. "Ioan, my dear. Wonderful to see you again." "Please don't call me 'my dear'," ey said, setting up a cone of silence. There was anger, there, somewhere beneath the surface, but ey was somewhat surprised to feel it almost completely overridden by exhaustion, something ey hadn't felt before the two had arrived. "My love? My--" he began, voice mocking. There was a thump beneath the table and he quickly cut off with a loud yelp, jolting away from Jonas, eyes wide. "Shut up, Zacharias," Jonas said mildly, plucking the maraschino cherry out of his drink and dropping it in Zacharias's. "Business now, prattle later." The fox sat, frozen, for a moment longer before wiping up some of his spilled drink with a bar napkin. His eyes were still wide, darting between Ioan and his boss. "Right." Another show of power, most likely, ey thought. Why else bring him with? "So," ey said aloud. "As I said in the message, We'd like to meet in two days' time. Systime 251+139, 11:00." Mid-sip, Jonas waved his hand vaguely. "Of course, of course," he said, setting his glass back down. "Whenever you're ready, like I said. But come, how are you Ioan? You look tired." Ey stared at him, trying to piece together how worth it was to actually answer the question. Ey was tired, yes. The night before had been a stressful one once ey'd received the request for a meeting from Jonas. True Name stayed up late in conversation with both May and End Waking about some clade business ey'd not been privy to, leading to em pacing in the darkened yard for nearly an hour, spring lilacs leaving the air almost too heady to breathe. Ey'd eventually given up on waiting for the skunks. Ey knew if ey stayed up any later, ey'd simply wind up standing at the windows and watching their fire out on the plain. "I think I'm going to head to bed," ey sent May. "I'm just going to keep cycling if I stay up." There was a hint of a whine to her reply. "I am sorry, Ioan, I did not realize how late it had gotten. Do you want me to send a fork back?" "I don't know, will they be intolerable and antsy?" "Oh, absolutely," she replied, and ey could hear the grin in her voice. "But I will still send one if you would like." "No, no. It's alright. Just no sleeping out there, okay?" "Of course. We will return soon." It was nearly two hours until the skunks returned as promised. Two hours of tossing and turning in bed, fretting and fretting and fretting. Eventually, both of them wound up joining em, and despite the added rest that this usually brought True Name, none of them slept well. When there was no wink and smile from Jonas, ey let eir shoulders sag and nodded. "Tired, yeah. We're all tired. Just want this shit over with." "And True Name? How's she?" he asked, still apparently sincere. "Look, Jonas, what are you after? We're tired. She's upset. We just want to get on with our lives, and it's all on you." "Well, sure, but now my workload's doubled," he said, and there, at last was the wink. "Though in all seriousness, I'm just trying to gauge what to expect. May Then My Name and End Waking will be there, too, right?" "Yes," ey said coolly, adding to Zacharias, "Will you?" "Would not miss it for the world," the fox said. His ebullience was notably restrained, still, but the grin had returned. He tapped the side of his snout, "Cartoonishly evil, remember?" I liked you better when Jonas was stomping on your toes, ey thought. "So you said," ey said aloud. "And how is May Then My Name?" Zacharias asked. "I know precious little about my down-tree instance, you know. I trust that she is well?" "She is also upset." The fox gasped, mock-effrontery filling his voice. "Not because of me!" "It has been a stressful few months. She doesn't want True Name coming to any harm, either." Zacharias scoffed. Ey put on eir best smile. "Though yes, she told me that she knew there were still old forks around, but that she'd left them to their own devices and knew nothing about them, so she's surprised to have met you." "How very diplomatic," he replied, grinning. "Well, I can assure you that the pleasure was all mine." "So why am I here?" Jonas shrugged. "You mean aside from the fact that I get to see your face when you talk about your skunks? It's fun dragging people round." Restraining the urge to bridle at 'your skunks', ey gave a hint of a bow. "And what can you tell me about this meeting? I imagine you've got some grand plans about surprising True Name with your ideas for the future, but if nothing else, it'd help me to know what I'm getting into before I get into it." "Oh, excellent question!" Ey posted the cap of eir pen and nodded for Jonas to continue. "I said it was an excellent question, not that I'd answer you, Ioan." "I think you will." "And why's that?" "Because you love to hear yourself talk," ey said. "And because Zacharias is right. This is almost cartoonishly evil, and villains love talking about their grand schemes. I'm ready for your monologue." Jonas raised his eyebrows and a slow grin spread over his features. "You see, this is why I like you, Ioan. The whole Bălan clade, that is. You hit that sweet spot between patient and impatient where you can stay calm, but you you don't just wait forever." Ey waited. "Alright, then, a bit of a preview." He finished half of his drink in a few swallows. "There's a bunch of changes coming in the pipeline--" "This AEC?" Zacharias frowned, but Jonas laughed, "Got it in one. That's right at the top of the list. See, that one requires some hardware changes that neither of the LVs are going to be able to manage, and that puts us in a unique position, here. Suddenly, the we differ from the LVs in a fundamental way. I really can't overstate how big of a deal this is, Ioan." "Suddenly we have to prove our greener grass to those phys-side?" "Right. The direction that we need to take with Lagrange can't just be the same old one we've been taking before. In this, True Name and I disagreed." He shrugged, rocking his glass gently back and forth on the table before taking another sip. "She wanted continue on her path of subtlety, I disagreed." "Disagreed? You tried to assassinate her, Jonas." Ey shrugged. "What are bullets but a disagreement?" Ioan rolled eir eyes. "We disagree, then. It's like I said, though, sometimes mommies and daddies fight, Ioan. We've spent the past few years trying to hash it out. For all her focus on subtlety in guiding the system, she can be a real bitch when it comes to trying to get her point across." "Bullshit," ey said flatly. Jonas laughed. "Oh?" "Yeah. A few reasons." Ey started ticking off points on eir fingers as ey spoke. "First, True Name didn't start down this path in the last few years that we've been learning from Artemis; she was a mess when she first got in touch with us with Codrin#Artemis's first letter around the convergence, so things were already in motion then. Second, The Guiding Council on Pollux is more than a decade old now, predating the arrival of the Artemisians by nearly ten years, and I think that's because third, you--" Ey nodded to Zacharias. "--apparently dropped everything on her across all three systems at the same time not that long after the launch. You two got more openly together on Pollux, and as far as Codrin#Castor can find in the perisystem, you quit shortly after telling her there. End Waking thinks --- and I agree --- you're trying to push each of the Systems in a different direction politically. Maybe you think having different political environments is more stable across societies separated by distance and time. Maybe it's some giant experiment. Who knows. It's your long game." The longer ey spoke, the more serious Jonas's expression grew, and by the time ey finished, he'd finished his drink and leaned back in his seat. "Well then," he said. "I suppose I don't have much more to add, then, do I? I have my conversation with True Name cut out for me, don't I?" "And what conversation is that?" Jonas was back to grinning. "Oh, fuck off, Ioan. I'm not going to tell you all of my secrets! We have our shit to work through and you have to be a good little clerk and take all of your notes so that you can come back to me with a story. That'll seal the deal, and we'll be ready to go our separate ways." Ey gave a hint of a bow. "As you say. It's settled, then, right? Two days, 11:00?" "That it is. Bring your pen and paper," Jonas said, lifting his glass in another toast before downing his drink in one go. "Right." Ey didn't hear if there was a reply or not. Ey simply quit. #Tracker could take care of the rest. Ioan#Tracker set eir pen down with exaggerated care, closing eir notebook, then eir eyes. This was anger in so many ways, though it differed from that hot, spiky shape spinning within em that came with Zacharias's bullshit. It was a pressure within eir chest, a tension in eir shoulders, a pounding in eir head. "Fuck," ey shouted. Ey fell back into the paced breathing exercises that Sarah had showed em years ago. It had been in the context to help May, at the time, but ey needed anything ey could get, now. "I take it you are back, then?" May's words over the sensorium message were tentative, anxious. Clearly everyone's tension was still lingering. "Yes. I'm coming outside," ey replied. Ey didn't wait for the ping of acknowledgement. Even if they weren't ready for em to be out there, ey needed to pass at least something on. Ey needed to be around eir partner and friends. Ey needed to be out of that context, away from pens and paper and books and work. ((Heads back all upset because they're good at that, EW is over and the three skunks are on the prairie)) ((They talk about the meeting)) ((Wargaming a few last things; they did a bunch while Ioan was out, but they're kind of cagey talking about it because ???)) ((They talk over dinner, we see it's been a few weeks and Ioan and TN are getting more comfortable touching)) ((Maybe some other stuff: - EW camping out? - Some call-back to something from before? - Ioan and May walk the plains - idk))