18 lines
1.4 KiB
Markdown
18 lines
1.4 KiB
Markdown
:diary:executive-function:depression:covid-19:
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Another day of depression, another day of failing to do the things that I need to do. I still feel the tendrils of burnout pulling me down. They're trapping me and keeping me from moving on with my life. The minute I have a task that I need to complete that involves any sort of organization, I just...can't. I sit and stare at the screen. I panic. I dissociate. I cry. I sit on the couch with my phone and watch [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbFT7kCFo9Q|wordless]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvL83-iy-EQ|competency]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PwAQZNLy0I|porn]]. Is there any reason I should do anything other than fall short of expectations?
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Obviously that's not quite how the world works. Authors need to be paid, emails need responding to, tasks need completed. Until WA gets their unemployment system fixed, I need to keep on top of applying for jobs. These are all things I _need_ to do, and yet they are things that I have so much trouble actually doing.
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Maybe it's burnout, but maybe it's just the usual depression mixed with the hopelessness inherent in both another failed election cycle and a global pandemic. Who knows?
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I just sit here, dilating for too long, and try not to think.
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== Todo ==
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* [ ] Respond to Hybrid authors
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* [ ] Pay Small Loves authors
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* [ ] Finish Acethetic reading
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* [ ] Patreon posts for Qoheleth
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* [X] Write a chapter, edit a chapter
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