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%title Okay %date 2004-05-18 09:12:42 :diary:livejournal:fossils:
Before Samir gets on my case about inconsistancy, or Michael tries to read my rather odd reply to his comment this morning, I feel that I should make myself clear.
Something odd happened this morning. I was fuming over the replies to my previous post and how it was misinterpereted when I started to remember the past few months. Certain things struck my in particular (and they shall remain private) about the relationship between Michael and I. The more I thought and read through my post, the more I realized just how stubborn I was being, and so I thought on that a bit. I've come to the conclusion, with the help of both Michael and Samir, that a mate should ultimately be able to change for the sake of his mate to the extent that they feel comfortable. It's part of love, and it's part of devotion, and this seems to be something that I've forgotten over the past few days. I don't want to seem like I'm trying to escape a problem, I just realized how simple of a problem it really was.
So the result of my slight epiphany? I love you, Michael, and I suppose I feel comfortable declaring that publically. I love you enough that, given time, I suppose I could change. Maybe not completely, but enough that I feel I could deal with the way things are. No, not deal, enjoy. So, if you're still willing, if I haven't pushed you too far away, I'd like for you to remain my mate and help me as much as possible with any changes that need to be made by cooperating with my body for this short time while it rebels by being silent. I sincerely apologize for all the grief and confusion I've caused, but please, work with me.
That said, both you and Samir, I think, read my previous post incorrectly, as I meant to just be summarizing the discussion for journal's sake, however weird it might have come out. God damn the english language, and I'm sorry for my ambiguous wording.
Remember, Love keeps no record of wrongs, it does not rejoice in evil by rejoices in truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. I Corinth. 13