update from sparkleup
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<p>“Besides, it’s not like you guys don’t hyperfixate on things.”</p>
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<p>“Yes, yes,” she mumbled sleepily. “But all the same, we have been slowly drifting away from what we used to be over the years, and in the face of all that we have seen, that is not such a bad thing.”</p>
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<hr />
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<p>Not all of these visits went nearly so smoothly, of course.</p>
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<p>In Dreams arrived early on a Saturday on an hour’s notice and bowed formally to Sasha.</p>
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<p>“Ioan, I believe Jonas hired you as an amanuensis?” she said.</p>
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<p>“He did, yes. Do you need me for that, too?”</p>
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<p>“Please. This story is not over, will not be over for a long time yet. Listen. Watch.”</p>
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<p>Sasha immediately picked up on the mood and stood up straight after returning the formal bow. She offered In Dreams a seat and coffee, both of which were declined, then said, “How may I help you?”</p>
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<p>“I have a request from both my stanza and that of Memory Is A Mirror Of Hammered Silver. You will also be presented with this request in writing as an individual-eyes-only message.”</p>
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<p>Sasha nodded. “I understand.”</p>
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<p>“We request no contact between you, your stanza, or the Bălan clade moving forward.”</p>
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<p>“Wait, what?” Ioan said. May edged around a little ways behind em, clutching at eir arm.</p>
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<p>“You are too entangled in the matter. No contact with this situation means no contact from you, May Then My Name Die With Me, or Do I Know God After The End Waking. This request is in effect until further notice, and will also apply to our stanzas on Castor and Pollux. None of us are on Artemis, but I will also be passing this request on to Sorina Bălan. This also applies to general intraclade communication; we will add visibility exceptions to our messages and request that you do the same.”</p>
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<p>“I understand, accept, and offer you my best,” Sasha said, bowing once more.</p>
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<p>“I do not want your best.” In Dreams said, voice flat. “Ioan?”</p>
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<p>Ey blinked, hesitated, then bowed in turn. “I understand and accept.”</p>
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<p>“And May Then My Name?”</p>
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<p>It took the skunk a moment to swallow back a rising wave of emotions before she could manage a shaky nod and a hoarse, “Understood.”</p>
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<p>“We are of one mind, then,” she said, bowed, and stepped from the sim. A few seconds later, three sheets of paper scrolled out of the air above the dining table, all set as individual-eyes-only for each of them. Ioan read through eirs several times with a hollow feeling in eir chest.</p>
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<p>They didn’t speak for the rest of the day. Ioan and May collapsed onto the beanbag and stayed there through much of it, each processing in their own way, while Sasha disappeared outside to lose herself in the wilderness, not returning until late that evening, bearing a lanky hair and double-pawful of chantarelle mushrooms, which she cooked down into a simple stew. They ate on the balcony to enjoy the late summer’s evening as best they could.</p>
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<p>Sasha joined them in bed that night, and they took what comfort they could from each other’s company.</p>
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<hr />
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<p>The last meeting of note came as Autumn began creeping over the edge of the hills.</p>
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<p>Ioan wasn’t sure why ey kept feeling surprised at the number of loose threads from just one event needed tying. The business with Qoheleth had been about as complicated, and had required meeting with several other Odists in order to finish the story, and each one came with a different tenor.</p>
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<p>The same was true here, as well. Many members of the clade — some of whom ey’d not yet met — visited and requested time with Sasha or with the three of them. Not all of these interactions went nearly so smoothly.</p>
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<p>May stumbled in the middle of a rehearsal, falling to her knees and panting before pushing herself to her feet. She managed to make it through the rest of the scene before forking off so that she could continue as best as able while her root instance ducked back home.</p>
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<p>Once there, she darted over towards where Ioan sat at eir desk, working through the process of writing Jonas’s book. She knelt beside em, clutched a pawful of eir shirt and set up a cone of silence. Ey felt the ACL-scape of the cone shift several times until it was just about as secure as could be made.</p>
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<p>“May? What–“</p>
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@ -163,77 +144,106 @@
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<p>“Ioan! I need to…can I–“</p>
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<p>“No. No coming over.”</p>
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<p>“A neutral place?”</p>
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<p>Ey thought quickly, sent a message to Douglas on a whim. “Do you need May there?” ey finally replied to the fox.</p>
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<p>Ey thought quickly, sent a message to Douglas. “Do you need May there?” ey finally replied to the fox.</p>
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<p>“Yes!”</p>
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<p>Ey sighed. “I’ll ask. No guarantees.”</p>
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<p>“No, I…no,” the skunk mumbled once ey stepped back into the cone. She’d managed to sit up and the panicked look on her face had calmed somewhat. “Or…well, I can, but he cannot come here.”</p>
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<p>“I suggested Douglas’s to maybe freak him out. I figure if Sasha’s reaction was anything to go by, it might quell him, or at least keep him quiet.”</p>
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<p>“No, I…no,” the skunk mumbled once ey stepped back into the cone. She’d managed to sit up and while the panicked look on her face had calmed, the beginnings of rage had take its place. “Or…well, I can, but he cannot come here.”</p>
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<p>“I suggested Douglas’s to keep him from being too much. I figure if Sasha’s reaction was anything to go by, it might quell him, or at least keep him quiet.”</p>
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<p>The skunk sat, silent, for a moment, holding onto one of eir hands tightly. “Alright. Will Douglas be around to sweep if needed?”</p>
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<p>Ey nodded.</p>
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<p>“Now?”</p>
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<p>“Yeah, I think so. Do you need anything before we go?”</p>
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<p>That panic on her face had slowly transmuted to anger, and ey could feel the same rising within em. “No. Let us get this the fuck over with.”</p>
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<p>She dropped the cone, letting Ioan send a message to Zacharias spoken aloud for May’s benefit. “The Field#002a0b1.”</p>
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<p>“I–“</p>
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<p>They were interrupted by a thudding sound followed by the scrabble of claws on the glass of the sliding door, Sasha finally finding purchase and whipping it open. May dropped the cone of silence.</p>
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<p>“What the fuck is happening?!” she shouted.</p>
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<p>“You too, then?” May said bitterly.</p>
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<p>Sasha frowned, straightened up, and brushed out her tunic. “Yes. He just about knocked me out with the amount of adrenaline he sent my way. You look ready to go. Do you have a plan?”</p>
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<p>“We’re going to meet him at Douglas’s field. That’s about the start and end of it, though.” Ioan took a deep breath and tried to tamp down the urge to pace. “Do you want to come?”</p>
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<p>Ey watched the heat of anger rise to her features as well. Both skunks were quickly heading towards furious. “Yes. Let us get this the fuck over with.”</p>
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<p>Ioan sent a message to Zacharias spoken aloud for May’s benefit. “The Field#002a0b1.”</p>
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<p>The reply was frantic. “What?! No!”</p>
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<p>“There or no meeting.”</p>
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<p>“F-fine.”</p>
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<p>Ioan helped May to her feet, placed a kiss between her ears before both of them forked and stepped from the sim.</p>
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<p>Ioan helped May to her feet and placed a kiss atop her head before the three of them forked and stepped from the sim.</p>
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<p>Douglas stood at the top of his stoop, arms crossed, frowning. “Ioan, what is this?”</p>
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<p>“Zacharias made it out of the whole thing alive,” May growled. “And now he is freaking out and wants to meet. I will not have him at our home.”</p>
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<p>“Zacharias made it out of the whole thing alive,” May growled. “And now he is losing his mind and wants to meet. I will not have him at our home.”</p>
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<p>Douglas’s frown deepened. “So you’re bringing him here? The ACLs are pretty locked down right now.”</p>
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<p>“Yes. We need somewhere where someone can sweep him if need be.” She grinned, adding, “And if this place freaks him out, all the better.</p>
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<p>“Yes. We need somewhere where someone can sweep him if need be.” She grinned humorlessly, adding, “And if this place freaks him out, all the better.</p>
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<p>“If you say so,” he said, paused, then continued, “Alright, he should be able to enter.”</p>
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<p>Ioan nodded and sent a brief ping to the fox.</p>
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<p>Ioan nodded and sent a brief ping to Zacharias.</p>
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<p>He arrived within a fraction of a second, yelped, and fell backwards, paws balled up into fists and pressed tight against his eyes.</p>
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<p>“How long as it been for you, my dear? Since you were forked?” May said, kneeling down before the fox. Her voice had grown cloyingly sweet, that ‘my dear’ carrying nothing but spite.</p>
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<p>“Y-yes,” he stammered. “Did…did we have to meet here?”</p>
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<p>“Y-yes,” he gasped. “Did…did we have to meet here?”</p>
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<p>“Where better?”</p>
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<p>Zacharias moaned. He forced himself to lower his paws to the ground, gripping at clumps of grass and dandelions. Finally, he opened his eyes and stared out toward the horizon of the field. “I–“</p>
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<p>“What did you want, my dear? You sounded on the verge of panic.”</p>
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<p>“It is Jonas!” he said, finally snapping out of his daze. “Jonas! He killed all of my instances!”</p>
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<p>“Did you expect anything else?” Ioan asked.</p>
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<p>“Did you expect anything else?” Sasha asked. There was no humor or sweetness in her voice.</p>
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<p>“I…well.”</p>
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<p>“You are the root instance, I am assuming?”</p>
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<p>He nodded, the movement jerky. “I have not left home since. I dug a new one, you see.”</p>
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<p>“And what can we do for you?”</p>
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<p>He nodded, the movement jerky and uneven. “I have not left home since. I dug a new one, you see.”</p>
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<p>“And what can we do for you?” May asked.</p>
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<p>“Help! You can help me get away from that…that lunatic!”</p>
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<p>“Is your home no longer safe, then?”</p>
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<p>He reached out to clutch at May’s paws. She startled backwards, but did nothing to push him away. “I cannot…I cannot be alone any longer. I have to…to be near–“</p>
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<p>He reached out to clutch at May’s paws. She startled backwards, but did nothing to push him away. “I cannot…I cannot be alone any longer! Months! It has been months since I have seen anyone. I have to…to be near–“</p>
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<p>“No,” she said flatly.</p>
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<p>“But–“</p>
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<p>“No.” The skunk shook her head, leaned forward and pressed her nose to Zacharias’s briefly. “You are on your own, my dear. I will not accept any further messages or merges. No contact.”</p>
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<p>“No.” The skunk shook her head, leaned forward and pressed her nose to Zacharias’s briefly. “Not me. Not Sasha. Not us. You are on your own, my dear. I will not accept any further messages or merges. No contact.”</p>
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<p>He slouched once more, eyes still wide. “May Then My Name, I–“</p>
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<p>She extracted one of her paws from his and slapped him firmly across the snout. “And that is for before.”</p>
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<p>Yelping, he fell back onto an elbow. He opened his mouth to respond, but May had already nodded towards Douglas, who swept him from the sim.</p>
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<p>“I’ve never seen you like that before,” he said, once they’d made their way inside, the three of them clutching glasses of water. “I knew he was a shitbag, but God damn.”</p>
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<p>“I’ve never seen you like that before,” he said, once they’d made their way inside, the four of them clutching glasses of water. “I knew he was a shitbag, but God damn.”</p>
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<p>“I am…not okay,” she said, whispering down to her glass. “I am not okay.”</p>
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<p>The skunk refused to say any more that day, and after they made it back home, informed Ioan that she would need at least a day, if not more, on her own.</p>
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<p>“Can I move elsewhere in the sim, or would you like the whole place to yourself?”</p>
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<p>She shook her head. “Just the house. If you can…I mean, if Sasha will let you stay at her tent, you can stay, but I need the house.”</p>
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<p>They didn’t stay long after. Ioan eventually promised Douglas that they’d catch up another time and then gently nudged the skunks to quit and merge back down.</p>
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<p>They didn’t speak for the rest of the day. Ioan and May collapsed onto the beanbag and stayed there through much of it, each processing in their own way, while Sasha disappeared outside to lose herself in the wilderness, not returning until late that evening, bearing a lanky hare and double-pawful of chantarelles, which she cooked down into a simple stew. They ate on the balcony to enjoy the late summer’s evening as best they could.</p>
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<p>Sasha joined them in bed that night, and they took what comfort they could from each other’s company.</p>
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<hr />
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<p>The most dramatic of meetings came as Autumn began creeping over the edge of the hills.</p>
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<p>In Dreams arrived late on a Saturday afternoon on a few minutes’ notice and bowed formally to Sasha.</p>
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<p>“Ioan, I believe Jonas hired you as an amanuensis?” she said.</p>
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<p>“He did, yes. Do you need me for that, too?”</p>
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<p>“Please. This story is not over, will not be over for a long time yet. Listen. Watch.”</p>
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<p>Sasha immediately picked up on the mood and stood up straight after returning the formal bow. She offered In Dreams a seat and coffee, both of which were declined, then said, “How may I help you?”</p>
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<p>“I have a request from both my stanza and that of Memory Is A Mirror Of Hammered Silver. You will also be presented with this request in writing as an individual-eyes-only message.”</p>
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<p>Sasha nodded. “I understand.”</p>
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<p>“We request no contact from you, your stanza, or the Bălan clade moving forward.”</p>
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<p>“Wait, what?” Ioan said. May edged around a little ways behind em, clutching at eir arm.</p>
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<p>“You are too entangled in the matter. No contact with this situation means no contact from you, May Then My Name Die With Me, or Do I Know God After The End Waking. This request is in effect until further notice, and applies to our stanzas on Castor and Pollux as well. None of us are on Artemis, but I will also be passing this request on to Sorina Bălan. This also applies to general intraclade communication; we will add visibility exceptions to our messages and request that you do the same.”</p>
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<p>“I understand, accept, and offer you my best,” Sasha said, bowing once more.</p>
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<p>“I do not want your best.” In Dreams said, voice flat. “Ioan?”</p>
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<p>Ey blinked, hesitated, then bowed in turn. “I understand and accept.”</p>
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<p>“And May Then My Name?”</p>
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<p>It took the skunk a moment to swallow back a rising wave of emotions before she could manage a shaky nod and a hoarse, “Understood.”</p>
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<p>“We are of one mind, then,” she said, bowed, and stepped from the sim. A few seconds later, three sheets of paper scrolled out of the air above the dining table, all set as individual-eyes-only for each of them. Ioan read through eirs several times with a hollow feeling in eir chest.</p>
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<p>Sasha stood still for a long minute, head bowed, then stepped outside without a word, at which point May burst into tears.</p>
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<p>Ioan did eir bets to comfort the skunk, but after an hour, she gently pushed em away. “I need…I need the house to myself, please.”</p>
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<p>“Should I head to Douglas’s??”</p>
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<p>She shook her head. “I do not know, Ioan. I just…I just need the house. If you can…I mean, if Sasha will let you stay at her tent, you can stay, but I need the house.”</p>
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<p>“Now?”</p>
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<p>Nodding, she wrapped her arms around em and squeezed tighter than ey knew she could. “I love you more than anything, my dear, but yes. Now.”</p>
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<p>Ey waited until ey could breathe properly after the squeeze, then kissed the top of her head. “I love you too, May. Please be safe, okay?”</p>
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<p>She nodded once more, relinquished her grip on em, and nudged em out toward the back door and outside.</p>
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<p>Sasha had set up a tent similar to End Waking’s though she had skipped the process of building it herself, instead requesting a thorough examination of what he’d accomplished and then creating from similar materials off the exchange. She’d set it up nearly on the other side of the lake from their house, so that she could have the solitude that she needed without having to create some new sim of her own.</p>
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<p>Though, to go with that, when the need for solitude struck her, it never quite got to the point that it did with End Waking. She would need away from their presences, she would say. They felt like a constant weight on her shoulders. Light, yes, but continually present.</p>
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<p>Sasha had set up a tent similar to End Waking’s though she had skipped the process of building it herself, instead creating from similar materials off the exchange. She’d set it up nearly on the other side of the lake from their house, so that she could have the solitude that she needed without having to create some new sim of her own.</p>
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<p>When the need for solitude struck her, it never quite got to the point that it did with End Waking. She would need away from their presences, she would say. They felt like a constant weight on her shoulders. Light, yes, but continually present.</p>
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<p>Ah well. This was the first time that May had overflowed in this living situation — and so dramatically, too; she’d never given em so little notice — so perhaps it would be helpful after all.</p>
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<p>Ey took eir time walking around the shore of the lake, using it to vent the emotions that had built up over the last half hour through tears, through shouting into a cone of silence, cursing.</p>
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<p>“Ioan? Goodness,” Sasha said.</p>
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<p>Ey’d managed to mostly clean up with a handkerchief, though clearly eir eyes were still red-rimmed and eir countenance…well, who knew? Glum, perhaps?</p>
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<p>“Hi Sasha,” ey said, sitting down on the step leading up into the tent. The skunk had been writing at the small desk she’d acquired, but she moved to join em. “May’s not in a good spot, suggested I stay with you, if that’s alright.”</p>
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<p>“Hi Sasha,” ey said, sitting down on the step leading up into the tent. The skunk had been writing at the small desk she’d acquired, but she moved to join em. “May’s not in a good spot. She suggested I stay with you, if that’s alright.”</p>
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<p>She frowned, nodded. “That bad?”</p>
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<p>“Well, she kind of kicked me out of the house, yeah.”</p>
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<p>She laid her ears flat. “Zacharias?”</p>
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<p>Ey nodded. “Why, did he ping you, too?”</p>
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<p>Her expression turned sour. “Several times. May I ask what happened? If it is too fresh, we can discuss it another time.”</p>
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<p>“No, I should be fine,” ey said. “I processed a lot of it on the way over.”</p>
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<p>By the time ey’d finished describing the afternoon, Sasha had gone quiet, looking out toward the lake. “Without contraries is no progression,” she murmured. “Attraction and repulsion, reason and energy, love and hate, are necessary to human existence.”</p>
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<p>She laid her ears flat. “We are perhaps both overflowing in our own ways.”</p>
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<p>“Oh, shit. I wasn’t thinking. Douglas–” Ey made as if to stand, but she grabbed eir wrist.</p>
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<p>“I had seen this coming, if I am honest, so it is not hitting me quite so hard as her. I will be okay.”</p>
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<p>Ey nodded, slowly settled back onto the step. “If you say so.”</p>
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<p>Sasha patted eir hand and bade em stay while she got up to stoke up the fire in her stove and fry up a simple meal of potatoes and vegetables. Ey couldn’t tell if it was bland as End Waking preferred or if eir mind was too busy to process taste, so ey mostly just pushed the food around on the plate.</p>
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<p>“Without contraries is no progression,” Sasha murmured after they’d finished. “Attraction and repulsion, reason and energy, love and hate, are necessary to human existence.”</p>
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<p>Ey started to ask what she meant, paused, then looked the words up in the perisystem architecture. “And here I thought you all were mostly into Dickinson.”</p>
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<p>She laughed and elbowed em in the side. “This may be a True Name thing.”</p>
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<p>She chuckled and elbowed em in the side. “This may be a True Name thing.”</p>
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<p>“Are you leaning into the “Good is the passive that obeys reason; Evil is the active springing from Energy” on this, then? Zacharias is evil for all his meddling?”</p>
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<p>“Nothing is so simple, dear,” she said, shaking her head. “Blake was not of our kind, he would not have understood. He did get that right, though that we are a people of dualities. May sees in Zacharias all that she cannot — must not — be, and yet we are not what we are without our opposites. Every idea’s opposite is just the absence of the idea itself.”</p>
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<p>“Nothing is so simple, dear,” she said, shaking her head. “Blake was not of our kind, he would not have understood. He did get that right, though, in that we are a people of dualities. May sees in Zacharias all that she cannot — must not — be. In Dreams and Hammered silver see in me that which they are not, and yet we are not what we are without our opposites. Every idea’s opposite is just the absence of the idea itself.”</p>
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<p>Ey sighed. “Maybe. It’s all a bit over my head.”</p>
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<p>“I am also a little bit all over the place,” she admitted. “These events have me going in three different directions at once. I am sorry, Ioan.”</p>
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<p>“I am also a little bit all over the place,” she admitted. “These events have me going in three different directions at once. The clade is crumbling and I cannot deny that some…much of that is on me. I am sorry, Ioan.”</p>
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<p>“It’s fine,” ey said, shaking eir head. “It’s kind of a lot.”</p>
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<p>“That it is. You are a good person, though. You love your partner. She knows this. I know this. You are good to her and it will all be okay. We may hope for neat endings but all we get are more beginnings.” She smiled, added, “And yes, you may stay until she is feeling better.”</p>
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