update from sparkleup
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Madison Scott-Clary
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<p>The sim in which Dear’s house squatted low, that short-grass prairie filled with buffalo grass and dotted with yucca and hardy dandelions, ran to the horizons in ceaseless waves, and often, when eir mind was too tangled up in itself to get anything done, Codrin would hunt those horizons.</p>
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<p>When ey had first moved in years ago, ey had asked Dear what else was on the prairie, and it had laughed. <em>“I do not know.”</em></p>
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<p>“Did Serene not leave you a map?”</p>
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<p>It shook its head again and repeated. <em>“I do not know. She does not know. It is just a prairie that never ends. You can walk as far as you want and there will always be more prairie before you. There are no mountains on the horizon, there are no rivers or creeks, and while there are a few rock outcroppings, they are largely uninspiring.”</em></p>
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<p>It shook its head again and had repeated. <em>“I do not know. She does not know. It is just a prairie that never ends. You can walk as far as you want and there will always be more prairie before you. There are no mountains on the horizon, there are no rivers or creeks, and while there are a few rock outcroppings, they are largely uninspiring.”</em></p>
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<p>“So, just an empty prairie?”</p>
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<p><em>“You say ‘just’, but Serene assures me that it is more complicated than that. The prairie is generated out to the horizon, and as long as you walk, it will continue to be generated out to the horizon. Only the places that we have seen are locked down, as it were, and remain after we have left.”</em></p>
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<p>“That sounds like it would just continue generating prairie.”</p>
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@ -41,7 +41,7 @@
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<p>Ey could not place why that had bugged em so at the moment, but as it continued to snowball in eir mind over the next hour, picking up emotions as it went until it was an outsized lump tumbling around within em, ey had walked over to where the fox was blocking out stage diagrams of some sort, kissed the fox between the ears, and said that ey would be back soon.</p>
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<p>During eir previous expeditions, ey had placed cairns at regularly spaced intervals with rocks pointing directions where ey had split off this way or that, so as ey walked from cairn to cairn, looking for new ways to explore, ey thought about the conversation.</p>
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<p>“That was such a dramatic thing to say,” ey said, sorting through eir reasoning aloud. “If it simply didn’t want to talk about it, it would equivocate or tell me to fuck off. So why be so obviously sly about it?”</p>
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<p>The rocks did not reply. Ey set down another stone atop the cairn and walked off into the grass perpendicular from eir trail.</p>
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<p>The rocks did not reply. Ey set down another marker stone atop the cairn and walked off into the grass perpendicular from eir trail.</p>
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<p>“If it had told me to fuck off, I would’ve just written that in a note back to Ioan, and we would’ve had our private laugh about it. If it had equivocated, it knows that I probably would have kicked it way down the priority list and likely not bugged it again. Was it something about the stories themselves?”</p>
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<p>The grass did not answer, only rustled and tugged at the hem of eir sarong.</p>
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<p>“It prides itself on deliberate, and it <em>knows</em> that I know that, so why did it say that in particular? Am I supposed to ask it? Am I supposed to feel curious or chagrined or envious?”</p>
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@ -75,48 +75,48 @@
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<p>Codrin laughed. “No, no. It’s okay. I’m doing fine. Dear’s alright.”</p>
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<p><em>“Mx. Codrin Bălan!”</em> the fox growled, stamping its foot. <em>“I have just been called a shit, do not take this moment from me.”</em></p>
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<p>“Alright, you little shit. Have your moment at the table.”</p>
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<p>It looked proud, bowing extravagantly and leading them into the dining room, where they dined on szekely gulyas and spaetzel and chatted amiably about only the small things.</p>
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<p>Dear, having clearly waited until the food had disappeared, finally spoke in a tone that told Codrin that it had been scripting the line since ey had returned home. <em>“Now, will you tell us why you went for your walkabout? Was it just for alone time, or did it have to do with where our conversation ended this morning? I have thought myself in circles about that, but want to hear your take before I burden you with mine.”</em></p>
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<p>It looked proud, bowing extravagantly and leading them into the dining room, where they dined on székely gúlyas and spätzel and chatted amiably about only the small things.</p>
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<p>Dear, having clearly waited until the food had disappeared, finally spoke in a tone that told Codrin that it had been scripting the line since ey had returned home. <em>“Now, will you tell us why you went for your walkabout? Was it just for alone-time, or did it have to do with where our conversation ended this morning? I have thought myself in circles about that, but want to hear your take before I burden you with mine.”</em></p>
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<p>Codrin stalled for time by pouring emself some wine, trying to decide where to begin. “Alright. I can accept that you have your reasons for leaving the System behind. I think all three of us do. I would like to know why, but at your own pace. I had a thought out there, though. When did you say Michelle uploaded?”</p>
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<p>The fox very carefully set its wine glass down. Codrin noticed that it’s paw had begun to shake. <em>“Did you go looking?”</em> it asked.</p>
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<p>Ey blinked, startled at the change of its demeanor. “No. You said the 2130s, and I had no reason to doubt you. Should I have?”</p>
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<p><em>“No, of course not.”</em></p>
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<p>Its partner had a strange look on their face, somewhere between dread and anxiety.</p>
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<p>“Isn’t that what you said?”</p>
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<p><em>“Yes, it was. It was. That was after the launch, but early enough to be plausibly within the realm of ‘founders’ as I had said.”</em> It cleared its throat, composed itself. <em>“You may add this to your histories, but I would like the chance to read over what you write before you commit it.”</em></p>
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<p><em>“Yes, it was. It was. That was after the Secession, but early enough to be plausibly within the realm of ‘founders’ as I had said.”</em> It cleared its throat, composed itself. <em>“You may add this to your histories, but I would like the chance to read over what you write before you commit it.”</em></p>
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<p>Codrin shrugged, nodded. “If it’s a story about you, I don’t see a reason why not.”</p>
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<p><em>“Thank you, dear. But no, I uploaded in 2117. I — Michelle — was one of the Council of Eight.”</em></p>
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<p>Ey coughed on eir next sip of wine. “What? You were? Uh…holy shit.” Ey looked to it’s partner. “You knew this? I don’t mean that in an accusatory way, sorry. I’m just a little shocked. More than a little.”</p>
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<p>“Yes. I left it up to Dear to tell you. It’s tight-lipped about that.”</p>
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<p><em>“It is there for anyone to look up, but most who look it up do not seem to care very much, or find it simply a curiosity.”</em></p>
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<p>“Yes. I left it up to Dear to tell you. It’s always been tight-lipped about that.”</p>
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<p><em>“It is there for anyone to look up, but most who look it up do not seem to care very much, or find it simply a curiosity.”</em> It hesitated, then added, <em>“It is also particularly difficult to look up for reasons that I will not go into now.”</em></p>
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<p>“So you were there for Secession? For the L<sub>5</sub> launch?”</p>
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<p><em>“Not this instance, but yes. Did you read up on the lost for your publication?”</em> It shook its head. <em>“You must have, yes, I remember. Do you remember Debarre?”</em></p>
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<p>Codrin nodded dumbly.</p>
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<p><em>“We pooled our money and uploaded together. He was also on the Council.”</em> Dear sighed and rotated its wine glass anxiously on the tabletop. <em>“Michelle soon became unable to participate in the council — you saw her before she…before she quit — so she forked the first ten lines, dumping a good chunk of her reputation into the process, and talked the council into letting them sit in her place.”</em></p>
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<p>“So it became the council of eighteen? Er…seventeen?”</p>
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<p><em>“No, no. Not at first, at least. The deal she struck with the other members of the Council was that her responsibility would be split evenly among the ten. At first, only The Only Time I Know My True Name Is When I Dream was the only one to sit council, then as her responsibilities to the secession process began to grow, more of Michelle’s ongoing projects were given to further first lines.”</em></p>
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<p>“So it became the Council of Eighteen? Er…Seventeen? I’m realizing how little I know about the Council.”</p>
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<p><em>“No, no. Not at first, at least. The deal she struck with the other members of the Council was that her responsibility would be split evenly among the ten. At first, The Only Time I Know My True Name Is When I Dream was the only one to sit council, then as her responsibilities to the secession process began to grow, more of Michelle’s ongoing projects were given to further first lines.”</em></p>
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<p>“You said not at first. Is that how she — the Odists — wound up with more than an equal share of power?”</p>
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<p>Dear nodded. <em>“It was slow and subtle, and, at first, unintentional. She was–“</em></p>
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<p>“‘At first’?”</p>
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<p>It sighed. <em>“This is the part that keeps me tight-lipped.”</em></p>
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<p>Codrin nodded for it to continue.</p>
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<p><em>“She was the origin of a lot of projects, you must understand. She and Zeke, one of the other council members, helped implement the idea of forking. She and Debarre helped implement the reputation market to limit that, given the technical limitations of the early System.”</em></p>
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<p><em>“She was the origin of a lot of projects, you must understand. She helped Ezekiel, one of the other council members, implement the idea of forking. She and Debarre helped implement the reputation market to limit that, given the technical limitations of the early System.”</em></p>
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<p>“And Secession?”</p>
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<p><em>“Her and Jonas, yes.”</em></p>
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<p>“Secession was initially the idea of one of the phys-side campaigners,” its partner said. “Initially they were campaigning for individual rights, and that debate intensified when news of forking reached the outside world”</p>
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<p><em>“Yes. There were some truly ugly suggestions from phys-side. Mostly on the DDR — did that still exist when you uploaded?”</em></p>
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<p><em>“Yes. There were some truly ugly suggestions from phys-side. Mostly on the DDR. Did that still exist when you uploaded?”</em></p>
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<p>Codrin shook eir head. “At least, I don’t know the acronym.”</p>
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<p><em>“It stood for Direct Democracy Representative. It was a silly idea to allow for members of the public to have direct debates and to vote on referenda.”</em> Dear’s expression soured. <em>“A terrible idea, I should say. It is what lead to the lost debacle, and we learned nothing from it. It was still heavily used when Michelle uploaded, and the debates surrounding individual rights on the DDR were heated. Some wanted to treat it — the System, that is — as essentially an employer, having those who uploaded be treated as employees who must work to earn their place. This, I think, stemmed from the fact that many who uploaded were middle or upper middle class. The wealthy remained, preferring to keep their wealth, and the lower classes could not afford it.</em></p>
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<p><em>“Some who uploaded agreed, at least after a fashion. They suspected that they would be brains-in-a-jar who would be able to devote themselves entirely to their science or art. Those phys-side wished to use uploads to drive factories or fly planes or what have you. Menial labor. Capitalism is ever the opportunist, and we were seen as tools, as was any employee.”</em></p>
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<p>“That sounds frankly disgusting.” Ey thought a moment, then shook eir head. “Or impossible.”</p>
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<p>“Capitalism was never one to let impossibility stand in its way,” Dear’s partner laughed.</p>
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<p><em>“Yes, well, there were at least still those phys-side who wished to help. Dreamers to the last.”</em> It smiled fondly, lifting its glass to swirl the wine within. <em>“Many of them uploaded. You have doubtless talked to a few without knowing. I don’t believe Yared — he was our biggest champion — decided on joining the Launch. Perhaps I will nudge Ioan to him if May does not do so first.”</em></p>
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<p>“Dear,” Codrin began, softening eir tone. “You don’t have to answer this, but do you have regrets about this time.”</p>
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<p><em>“Yes, well, there were at least still those phys-side who wished to help. Dreamers to the last.”</em> It smiled fondly, lifting its glass to swirl the wine within. <em>“Many of them uploaded. You have doubtless talked to a few without knowing. I don’t believe Yared — he was our biggest champion — decided on joining the Launch. Or perhaps he did. If he did not, I will nudge Ioan to him if May Then My Name does not do so first.”</em></p>
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<p>“Dear,” Codrin began, softening eir tone. “You don’t have to answer this, but do you have regrets about this period?”</p>
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<p>This time, the exaggerated care when setting down its glass was missing, as it nearly slammed it on the table. <em>“I will not answer that.”</em></p>
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<p>“Dear,” its partner murmured.</p>
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<p>It was nearly a minute before it mastered its anger. <em>“No, I will not answer. Not now, at least.”</em></p>
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<p>“Sorry, Dear.”</p>
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<p><em>“It is not on you, Codrin. I am…ashamed. Many of the first lines…well, no. I will not elaborate now.”</em> It grinned wickedly at Codrin. <em>“You will doubtless tease it out of me, bit by bit, you tenacious fuck.”</em></p>
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<p><em>“It is not on you, my dear. I am…ashamed. Many of the first lines…well, no. I will not elaborate now.”</em> It grinned wickedly at Codrin. <em>“You will doubtless tease it out of me, bit by bit, you tenacious fuck.”</em></p>
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<p>Ey relaxed, nodding. “You know me well.”</p>
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<p><em>“I do, at that.”</em></p>
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<p>They sat in silence, drinking their wine.</p>
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<p>The questions would wait. It was time to just be.</p>
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</article>
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<footer>
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<p>Page generated on 2021-09-24</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2021-09-25</p>
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</footer>
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</main>
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