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update from sparkleup

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Madison Scott-Clary 2021-07-22 16:25:10 -07:00
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writing/sawtooth/limerent-object/90.html
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@ -41,11 +41,12 @@
<p>D&gt; No no, I mean</p>
<p>D&gt; Well, it is, but that&rsquo;s not quite where I was going, hah.</p>
<p>K&gt; Sorry. I&rsquo;ll let you type.</p>
<p>D&gt; I don&rsquo;t really know what I wanted out of this conversation, to be honest. Feelings like this aren&rsquo;t logical, you know? So I think I just wanted to say that because I don&rsquo;t know what to do with all of them. They just boil up within me and I just sit there and feel weird and bad but also kind of good at the same time.</p>
<p>D&gt; I don&rsquo;t really know what I wanted out of this conversation, to be honest. I wasn&rsquo;t even intending for it to be a conversation, at least right off the bat. I had a whole email written up that I was going to send you, to be perfectly nerdy about it.</p>
<p>D&gt; Feelings like this aren&rsquo;t logical, you know? So I think I just wanted to say that because I don&rsquo;t know what to do with all of them. They just boil up within me and I just sit there and feel weird and bad but also kind of good at the same time. I just started falling for you, and kept it to myself because it felt like such an imposition to admit that to you.</p>
<p>D&gt; And I should add</p>
<p>D&gt; The goal wasn&rsquo;t to try and rope you into something you don&rsquo;t want to do, and I don&rsquo;t want to make it sound like I am trying to do so now.</p>
<p>D&gt; The goal is specifically not to do that. It wasn&rsquo;t to try and rope you into something you don&rsquo;t want to do, and I don&rsquo;t want to make it sound like I am trying to do so now.</p>
<p>D&gt; Guilt you into it or whatever.</p>
<p>D&gt; But I guess I wanted to talk about it and get it off my chest.</p>
<p>D&gt; But I did want to talk about it and get it off my chest.</p>
<p>D&gt; And I guess that&rsquo;s it.</p>
<p>K&gt; Alright.</p>
<p>K&gt; I mean, I don&rsquo;t think you could guilt the wings off a fly, Dee.</p>
@ -62,10 +63,11 @@
<p>D&gt; Hah.</p>
<p>D&gt; Sorry, that came out weird?</p>
<p>D&gt; Seriously, though, I really don&rsquo;t know. This whole thing, this whole crush or whatever it is, I don&rsquo;t know what the end goal of it is. It&rsquo;s limerence, it&rsquo;s something that&rsquo;s happening to me, and I don&rsquo;t know what to do about it. It&rsquo;s this enormous feeling and you&rsquo;re the limerent object, and I hate that my brain is doing it.</p>
<p>D&gt; And at the same time, I really do like you, and </p>
<p>All of my work on emotional literacy is failing me now. It was largely failing me then, as well. I am doing my best to recount the conversation that we had here, but I am in a state of, I suppose, numbness, and that numbness is taking up the same amount of space that the limerence did before. It is overwhelming in its nullity, and there is nothing, it seems, that I can do to shake it. I cannot transmute it into something more positive. I cannot release any of the built up pressure, for there is no catharsis for nothingness.</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2021-06-08</p>
<p>Page generated on 2021-07-22</p>
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