update from sparkleup
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<p>As the play drew up to the climax, as the attacker was convicted and condemned to live forever, mouldering in some dark cell, they at last darted around the defense’s table, hands still cuffed before them, and collapsed, laughing and sobbing in equal measure, above the pool of blood, smearing it on their hands, over their face and clothes. “I did it!” they howled. “I fucking did it <em>and it didn’t mean a fucking thing!</em>“</p>
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<p>We were once more dropped into utter blackness, treated to nearly five minutes more of wails and screeches, giggles and sobs, laughter and half-words, all slowly fading to silence.</p>
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<p>The analogy was clear — almost ham fisted — and it left my stomach churning. It left a lump in my throat and a hotness on my face. It left me sobbing. Me and so many others in the audience, from what I saw when the lights came back up. Each seat had a cone of silence above it, preventing me from hearing anyone else. Beside me, Dry Grass had started crying from the beginning and hadn’t lifted her head from her arms folded on the small table before us throughout the entire performance.</p>
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<p>The auditorium, full at the start, was half-empty by the end, so many of the audience members having left in disgust or pain. <!--Günay, who had uploaded not two weeks prior, left before the stage went dark. PENDING "SENTENCES"--></p>
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<p>The auditorium, full at the start, was half-empty by the end, so many of the audience members having left in disgust or pain.</p>
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<p>But now it was over and the house lights were coming back up, illuminating the two score crescent moon tables scattered through the room, the remaining audience sitting behind them in comfortable chairs. I stayed beside Dry Grass, rubbing her back gently as she worked to get her emotions under control. The audience filed out slowly while a few techs tore down the stage, gesturing at various props and the like, which either blipped out of existence or floated back into storage on their own. The blood on the stage was, thankfully, in the former category.</p>
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<p>Dry Grass, now leaning back in her chair and breathing in deliberate calm, and I watched as as a bundle of black and white fur sprinted across the stage and hurled itself out into the audience, making as much of a bee-line for us as was possible with the tables in the way.</p>
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<p>Swivelling her chair toward the hurtling skunk, Dry Grass threw her arms wide, letting Motes leap into them.</p>
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<p>“It was pretty good,” I admitted. “I can tell you about it later.”</p>
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<p>“No, I will read it on my own at some point when I am calmer.” Dry Grass nodded toward the stage. “But look, A Finger Pointing and Beholden.”</p>
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<p>The two Odists — one tall, slender, and human, the other a shorter, softer skunk — made their way far more sedately toward our table. They walked arm in arm, leaning affectionately against each other, each carrying a drink in their free hand and paw.</p>
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<p>“Reed!” A Finger Pointing began, reaching out with one arm to offer me a hug. “I am pleased you made it.” She glanced at Dry Grass with a rueful smile. “I hope we did not traumatize you <em>too</em> much. Have you heard back from the LVs, yet? It is about time, is it not?”</p>
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<p>I watched as Beholden started pulling chairs away from the next table over with a gesture, sliding across the floor so that she could flop down into one. As soon as she and A Finger Pointing had done so, Motes forked off two more instances to go pile into each of their laps as well.</p>
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<p>“You have, but Motes has already apologized,” Dry Grass said. “But yes, news has started to come in from Castor and Pollux. I believe Reed even has a letter.”</p>
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<p>I nodded. “I do, yeah, but that can wait a bit. How’re you? Feeling good about the play?</p>
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<p>“Reed!” A Finger Pointing began, reaching out with one arm to offer me a hug. “I am pleased you made it.” She glanced at Dry Grass with a rueful smile. “I hope we did not traumatize you <em>too</em> much.</p>
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<p>I watched as Beholden started pulling chairs away from the next table over with a gesture, one sliding across the floor so that she could flop down into it, with another for her parter. As soon as she and A Finger Pointing had done so, Motes forked off two more instances to go pile into each of their laps as well.</p>
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<p>“You have, but Motes has already apologized,” Dry Grass said.</p>
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<!-- more, slow hours vs beholden, come back to it later with reconciliation -->
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<p>A Finger Pointing winced at Dry Grass’ words, setting her drink down and offering a bow. “I am sorry, my dear; I recognize that our approach to reclamation is at times quite uncomfortable. I will endeavor not to be so careless in the future.”</p>
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<p>She showed none of that wariness when her eyes came back up to meet mine. “I am sure we each feel differently about this particular production. I, for one, would have been satisfied even if the house were empty; all that preparation, that one climactic performance makes for a potent font of catharsis, does it not?”</p>
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<p>I laughed, my throat still raw from my own bout of crying. “I suppose so. Motes certainly seems to think so.”</p>
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<p>The skunk lingering on Dry Grass’s lap grinned proudly to me.</p>
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<p>Dry Grass sighed. “That it does, my dear, and that is what keeps it a trauma worth processing.”</p>
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<p>Beholden laughed. “You are so very much yourself, Dry Grass.” She gave her instance of Motes a squeeze. “Please do keep that up. But how are you feeling beside that, Reed?”</p>
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<p>Beholden laughed. “You are so very much yourself, Dry Grass.” She gave her instance of Motes a squeeze. “Please do keep that up. But how are you two feeling beside that? Any news?”</p>
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<p>“Yes, have you heard back from the LVs, yet? It is about time, is it not?” A Finger Pointing asked.</p>
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<p>“Yes,” Dry Grass said. “At least I have. News has started to come in from Castor and Pollux. It was a shock to hear from In The Wind#Pollux. I have set aside processing that for later, though; I believe Reed even has a letter.”</p>
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<p>I sighed, leaning forward to grab my drink off the bar before settling back in my chair. I was glad I’d gone for a wine rather than anything fizzy. My throat still felt raw from the crying. “I’m doing okay, I think. Coming to terms with it all. The play was…a lot. I guess part of why it hit me so hard was because I heard back from Marsh#Castor today.”</p>
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<p>“Oh, Reed,” Dry Grass said, leaning over to squeeze my hand. “Do you want to talk about it?”</p>
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<p>“Actually, I was hoping I could get your opinion on some of it, if you don’t mind,” I said, looking to the others.</p>
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<p>Motes, preoccupied obtaining as much affection as she could, merely shrugged.</p>
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<p>“I am fine with it,” Dry Grass said, then added with a smirk, “That is why I brought you here, after all, is it not? That and the experience?”</p>
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<p>I laughed, nodded.</p>
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<p>A Finger Pointing leaned down to her Motes’s ear. “My dear, could you–?” she cooed, beckoning Beholden and the other Motes to join us at the table. “Please, Reed; I am <em>intensely</em> curious what they have to say about all this.”</p>
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<p>A Finger Pointing leaned down to her Motes’s ear. “My dear, could you–?” she cooed. The little leaned up, dotted her nose affectionately to her cheek, and then quit. “Please, Reed; I am <em>intensely</em> curious what they have to say about all this.”</p>
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<p>Beholden seemed focused on straightening out Motes’ mane — perhaps a little more than could be expected, as though working to distract herself — though she nodded all the same.</p>
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<p>“Alright, thanks. I’ll just read it to you, it’s fairly short.” Feeling a little silly just staring off into space to read, I summoned up the letter on a sheet of paper and began to read.</p>
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<blockquote>
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<p>Dry Grass nodded. “There were times throughout our history that Michelle felt more like a friend or sister than our down-tree instance. It hurt either way, but the mechanical aspects, the sundering of the ten stanzas, lingered often in our thoughts.”</p>
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<p>“It seemed rather more symbolic, for my part, that particular note,” A Finger Pointing commented. “We seldom merged with her after those first few years. What really bothered <em>me</em> was the implication that we were all doomed to quit, that what happened to her was a premonition of what was to come.”</p>
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<p>Beholden looked suddenly away, mastering some intense emotion that washed over her face. She seemed to want to speak, though, so we all remained in silence.</p>
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<p>“And we <em>do</em> have that in us,” she said at last, voice thick. “We do have the capability–” A Finger Pointing reached over to her partner, pulling her close by the shoulders. She sniffed, sighed, then went on. “–in Death Itself and I Do Not Know, but also in Muse.”</p>
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<p>“And we <em>do</em> have that in us,” she said at last, voice thick. “We do have the capability–“</p>
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<p>When her voice failed, A Finger Pointing reached over to her partner, pulling her close by the shoulders. </p>
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<p>She sniffed, sighed, then went on. “–in Death Itself and I Do Not Know, but also in Muse.”</p>
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<!-- more; tie in with nasturtiums -->
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<p>Motes drew her legs up onto the chair with her and buried her face in her arms.</p>
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<p>“I do not <em>like</em> it,” Beholden added with a bitter chuckle. “I think I actually <em>hate</em> it, that she could do that — that <em>any</em> of them could do that. One more thing to be anxious about after months and months of anxiety.”</p>
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<p>A Finger Pointing watched Dry Grass carefully while Beholden spoke, turning her gaze on me only after some silence lingered between us. “I do not believe this premonition, of course, but you can see how it affects each of us. There is enough death in our clade to make us wonder, yes?”</p>
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<p>“Oh, it <em>is</em>,” she mused, before turning her gaze on me once more. “So let that be my request to you, Reed. I want you and Lily to talk about this, to consult with Anubias, and to tell me how that goes. I am sure Dear would have a heyday if it were here to explore cross-tree merging, but seeing as it went the Ansible — I am <em>very</em> much stealing that turn of phrase — I think I would like to collaborate with you three on this.”</p>
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</article>
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<footer>
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<p>Page generated on 2024-01-22</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2024-03-29</p>
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<li class="done3"> <a href="006.html">006</a> — Dinner with Reed, Hanne, friends (Warmth, My, Jess, Dry Grass), the Marshans, Lily sort of reconciles with Dry Grass, conversation 1 about what it means to be a clade without a root instance. — 4379</li>
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</ul>
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</li>
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<li class="done2"> Part 2 — Phys-side is being a little sketchy about what happened, turns out there was a reset and a lot of work behind the scenes after a coordinated attack between phys- and sys-side, taking the form of a generalized weapon that wiped out most of the System. Large chunks of it were restored after a lot of work and help from the Artemisians, but not total success — virus loophole was fixed (incl singular attacks), but no guarantee there won’t be another work-around, plans to split the System into smaller pieces, move some of them to Earth/Sun Lagrange points<ul>
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<li class="done3"> Part 2 — Phys-side is being a little sketchy about what happened, turns out there was a reset and a lot of work behind the scenes after a coordinated attack between phys- and sys-side, taking the form of a generalized weapon that wiped out most of the System. Large chunks of it were restored after a lot of work and help from the Artemisians, but not total success — virus loophole was fixed (incl singular attacks), but no guarantee there won’t be another work-around, plans to split the System into smaller pieces, move some of them to Earth/Sun Lagrange points<ul>
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<li class="done3"> <a href="007.html">007</a> — Dry Grass loops Reed & co into discussion with phys-side admin and engineers, Günay made point and admin pushed to the side, Huddle to talk about why they’re being so cagey — 5747</li>
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<li class="done3"> <a href="008.html">008</a> — Dinner and talking with Dry Grass, Cress, and Tule about feelings, Reed catching feelings — 3324</li>
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<li class="done0"> INTERLUDE: Millwright</li>
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<li class="done2"> INTERLUDE: Millwright</li>
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<li class="rejected"> 009 — (MERGED DOWN)</li>
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<li class="done3"> <a href="010.html">010</a> — Clade representatives form a group, contact chill phys-side systech, learning even more about both what happened WRT CPV bomb and collectives, plus how phys-side is seeing things, various changes to the System, AWNH and Jonas Fa are into knife play — 5877</li>
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<li class="done3"> <a href="011.html">011</a> — Meeting with member of The System Consortium, who is a member of a conservative collective, learning more about why the System was bombed — 2346</li>
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<li class="done2"> <a href="012.html">012</a> — Visiting the morgue, funeral for Marsh, fight with Lily, who is reacting to grief with anger. — 3345</li>
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<li class="done3"> <a href="012.html">012</a> — Visiting the morgue, funeral for Marsh, fight with Lily, who is reacting to grief with anger. — 3345</li>
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</ul>
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</li>
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<li class="done2"> Part 3 — The ramifications, both global and personal (but mostly personal) — a lot of talk among the Marshans, their partners, and a chill phys-side systech — looking into trying to reconstruct Marsh by cross-tree merging Reed, Lily, and Cress — it doesn’t work, so it turns into coming to terms with letting go of the past<ul>
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<li class="done2"> <a href="013.html">013</a> — Dry Grass mourns, Reed catches Cress and Tule up with regards to System changes, cross-tree merges — 2395</li>
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<li class="done2"> <a href="014.html">014</a> — Reed and Hanne talking, Reed admits to starting to grieve now that things are calming down, expresses doubts about reconstruction — 1775</li>
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<li class="done2"> <a href="015.html">015</a> — Date with Dry Grass, talking about reconstruction — 2002</li>
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<li class="done2"> <a href="016.html">016</a> — Discussing social changes both phys- and sys-side, improvements on the table, someone digging into Artemisian archives, Reed decides to go through with cross-tree merge — 3975</li>
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<li class="done3"> Part 3 — The ramifications, both global and personal (but mostly personal) — a lot of talk among the Marshans, their partners, and a chill phys-side systech — looking into trying to reconstruct Marsh by cross-tree merging Reed, Lily, and Cress — it doesn’t work, so it turns into coming to terms with letting go of the past<ul>
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<li class="done3"> <a href="013.html">013</a> — Dry Grass mourns, Reed catches Cress and Tule up with regards to System changes, cross-tree merges — 2395</li>
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<li class="done3"> <a href="014.html">014</a> — Reed and Hanne talking, Reed admits to starting to grieve now that things are calming down, expresses doubts about reconstruction — 1775</li>
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<li class="done3"> <a href="015.html">015</a> — Date with Dry Grass, talking about reconstruction — 2002</li>
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<li class="done3"> <a href="016.html">016</a> — Discussing social changes both phys- and sys-side, improvements on the table, someone digging into Artemisian archives, Reed decides to go through with cross-tree merge — 3975</li>
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<li class="done2"> INTERLUDE: Nasturtiums</li>
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<li class="done2"> <a href="017.html">017</a> — It doesn’t work, there is only them, no Marsh, Vos gets <em>very mad</em>, clade admits it’s time to start grieving proper — 3619</li>
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<li class="done3"> <a href="017.html">017</a> — It doesn’t work, there is only them, no Marsh, Vos gets <em>very mad</em>, clade admits it’s time to start grieving proper — 3619</li>
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</ul>
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</li>
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<li class="done2"> Epilogue — Life after<ul>
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<li class="done2"> <a href="018.html">018</a> — (~8 months later, a letter from Marsh#Castor or #Pollux expressing grief, coming to terms with letting go of the past, conversation 2 with A Finger Pointing (and other Odists) about being a clade without a root)</li>
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<li class="done2"> <a href="018.html">018</a> — ~8 months later, a letter from Marsh#Castor or #Pollux expressing grief, coming to terms with letting go of the past, conversation 2 with A Finger Pointing (and other Odists) about being a clade without a root, cross-tree merges for reconciliation, bring up point from early 017</li>
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</ul>
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</li>
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</ul>
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<footer>
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<p>Page generated on 2024-03-26</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2024-03-29</p>
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