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<!doctype html>
<html>
<head>
<title>Zk | I have a headache</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width" />
<meta charset="utf-8" />
</head>
<body>
<main>
<header>
<h1>Zk | I have a headache</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>Which is probably exacerbated by me forcing my brain to switch between QWERTY and Dvorak while trying to learn Dvorak and type QWERTY on a Dvorak keyboard. Kiran called about a math exam tomorrow. oh well. It has the added benefit of freaking out whoever looks at it.</p>
<p>Greens covering my chest and shoulders warmly are happiness. Group tonight was particularly nice with Moondoggy. Wrote about gay stuff:
<details text="Which Follows"><summary>Which Follows</summary></p>
<h1 id="1-they-say-im-not-normal-period">1 They say I'm not normal period.</h1>
<p>This, of course is coming from the jocks, the preps, the Xtians, the punks,
the losers, the winners, the teachers, the counselors, my friends, my enemies,
the dogs, the cats, the tables. The chairs, too. They wonder why I can't
just sit in them like a normal freaking person. Whatever. What they don't
know is that I'm secretly happier than them. they might not know it by
looking at me, since sometimes I look like I'm having a really rough time,
but it's true. You see, one of the many keys to happiness is individuality,
and you gotta have all the keys before you're really happy. Many people
don't, and many of those seem to think they do. They think that statistics on
suicides and self mutilation have everything to do with happiness among queer
teens, when really, all they have to do with queer teens is statistics.
Numbers that may or may not accurately represent the truth. I think that
being abnormal, specifically being gay makes you happy. Maybe it isn't just a
coincidence of words, maybe we really are gay.</p>
<h1 id="4-queer-hair-queer-mouth-queer-brain">4 Queer hair, queer mouth, queer brain.</h1>
<p>Queer hair, queer mouth, queer brain, queer sleeves, queer shoes, queer toes,
queer nails, queer fingers, queer palms, hairy palms, queer wrists, limp
wrists, queer arms, queer shoulders, arms around shoulders, queer neck,
sensitive neck, queer hair, curly, queer ears, sensitive ears, eargasmic,
queer cheek, blushing cheek, queer nose, got it from my dad, queer eyes, queer
colors, got them from my grandpa, queer eyebrows, but not as queer as some,
queer face, too long, queer chest, too skinny, queer belly, padded, queer
crotch, go figure, queer thighs, better believe it, queer knees, queer calfs,
queer ankles, queer legs, flexible, queer feet, still smell, queer guy, no
surprise.</p>
</details>
<span class="control">Expand all</span>
</article>
<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2004-06-02 23:08:48</p>
</footer>
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<!doctype html>
<html>
<head>
<title>Zk | Woo, huzzah, and all that jazz.</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width" />
<meta charset="utf-8" />
</head>
<body>
<main>
<header>
<h1>Zk | Woo, huzzah, and all that jazz.</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>Lookie, an LJ. :o</p>
<span class="control">Expand all</span>
</article>
<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2002-08-07 20:54:11</p>
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<!doctype html>
<html>
<head>
<title>Zk | Recipe idea, perhaps.</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width" />
<meta charset="utf-8" />
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<header>
<h1>Zk | Recipe idea, perhaps.</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>Back when my mom used to cook chicken for me, even though she didn't eat it, I'd put mild Caesar salad dressing on it as seasoning. It was pretty damn good, too. Maybe one day when I'm bored, I could try and make a recipe for it. Probably sear and steam the chicken in chicken broth with a bit of rosemary and lemon juice or something, then when it's about half cooked, take out some of the broth and add some Caesar dressing. Turn it off and let it cool a bit, save the sauce, and bake the chicken the rest of the way, then serve it with a thickened version of the sauce. Or maybe just season the chicken and bake it, making the sauce separately. <em>shrug</em> Would be good with rice pilaf and potatoes.</p>
<p>Anyway, whatever.</p>
<p>Big B is still down. Screwy</p>
<span class="control">Expand all</span>
</article>
<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2002-08-17 17:30:33</p>
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<!doctype html>
<html>
<head>
<title>Zk | Love. Humility. Balance. In other news, I'm thinking about people dying again. Thus...</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width" />
<meta charset="utf-8" />
</head>
<body>
<main>
<header>
<h1>Zk | Love. Humility. Balance. In other news, I'm thinking about people dying again. Thus...</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>I can feel the sickness spreading now. There's the earthy, acrid feeling during exhalation, the weariness of my joints, the slight dizziness and self-lag when I move quickly, the endless slightly upset stomach that feels a good deal like hunger... And above all lies the hot, rotten feeling in my core. Fuck.</p>
<p>I'd written in a not-so-lucid moment on the back of an essay, "How can I be sure I'm me?" This feeling came back last night after the show. Moondog didn't actually perform 'cause he didn't have a song and didn't have time to prepare. Instead, we commiserated on the energy of Rainbow Alley and the fact that we don't talk much. This nugget of info seemed to have originated from Samir having talked a good deal with Andrew today. It's a good point, Moondog and I don't really just talk all that much. We discussed this over water and a chocolate shake at Arby's during closing time and some over IM. When we were in person though, I had the feeling that I really wasn't the one talking; I don't mean this in the otherworldly sense, so much as the fact that I wasn't sure I really understood what I was saying. </p>
<p>Now that I've put down my goddamned book, I feel frustrated at the fact that we should have to worry about this at all, that we need to schedule time to talk. Perhaps I've gone nineteen, but mates shouldn't have to do that. Waiting is. Talking will happen when it needs to happen, and perhaps it does, but are we approaching this in the wrong way? Are we being goaded into action by shadows? Or perhaps I'm just out of my mind. Yar-bugger.</p>
<p>Hey, I found reading again. In case you didn't notice.</p>
<p>As a side note, I've not cried in years. I feel like, since I cried so much as a child, I must conserve my tears, mete them out in the proper amounts at the proper times, lest I have none when they're needed most</p>
<span class="control">Expand all</span>
</article>
<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2004-03-27 00:25:20</p>
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<!doctype html>
<html>
<head>
<title>Zk | Finally got it!</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width" />
<meta charset="utf-8" />
</head>
<body>
<main>
<header>
<h1>Zk | Finally got it!</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p><a href="http://drab-makyo.com/">:D:D:D&lt;/a</p>
<span class="control">Expand all</span>
</article>
<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-02-27 22:59:15</p>
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<!doctype html>
<html>
<head>
<title>Zk | Another...</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width" />
<meta charset="utf-8" />
</head>
<body>
<main>
<header>
<h1>Zk | Another...</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p><a href="http://drab-makyo.com/"><img border="0" src="http://drab-makyo.com/drab-makyo-prof.png"/></a></p>
<p>Can't sleep.</p>
<span class="control">Expand all</span>
</article>
<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-03-01 05:47:08</p>
</footer>
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<!doctype html>
<html>
<head>
<title>Zk | For Emergencies:</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
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<meta charset="utf-8" />
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<body>
<main>
<header>
<h1>Zk | For Emergencies:</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>Name: Matthew Joseph Scott
Date of Birth: 01/21/1986
Address: 1104 Remington St. #304, Fort Collins, CO 80524
Phone: 1-303-818-594</p>
<span class="control">Expand all</span>
</article>
<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-03-01 06:45:27</p>
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<!doctype html>
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<head>
<title>Zk | Reworked...</title>
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<header>
<h1>Zk | Reworked...</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p><a href="http://drab-makyo.com/"><img src="http://drab-makyo.com/drab-makyo-prof-new.png"/></a></p>
<p>A little cleaner looking now, but I'm not too sure about the sinking name. Suggestions?</p>
<p>EDIT: at <lj user="mousit"></lj>'s suggestion:</p>
<p>&lt;img src="http://drab-makyo.com/drab-makyo-prof-new2.png"/</p>
<span class="control">Expand all</span>
</article>
<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-03-01 21:07:16</p>
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<!doctype html>
<html>
<head>
<title>Zk | Blwrg.</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
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<h1>Zk | Blwrg.</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>Attempted to sing for scholarship monies tonight, which ended, however predictably, in disaster. Actually, I thought I did rather well, until I heard some of the other people who were competing. Well, I guess there's a reason I'm not majoring in Vocal Performance, or even getting a performer's certificate.</p>
<p>One good thing did come from tonight, though! I made up a drink!</p>
<p>2 parts blackstrap rum (Cruzan Estates Navy)
1 part amaretto
1 part triple sec</p>
<p>Build over ice in a highball glass, serve with a slice of lime.</p>
<p>It's pretty good, but I'm tempted to add a little simple syrup and soda water. I'll try another, as I get quietly and thoroughly drunk.</p>
<p>Edit:</p>
<p>Double the amaretto, add a splash of Rose's sweetened lime juice, and fill with soda water, and you get.. what? I think I'll call the original a beachfox ('cause a Shanerak sounded clumsy :D), and this a sparkling beachfox. Dunno how that'll sound tomorrow :</p>
<span class="control">Expand all</span>
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<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-03-02 07:22:39</p>
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<!doctype html>
<html>
<head>
<title>Zk | Family</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width" />
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<body>
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<header>
<h1>Zk | Family</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ranna/409225461/" title="photo sharing"><img alt="" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/130/409225461_7ee36342e8_m.jpg" style="border: solid 2px #000000;"/></a> <br/> <span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ranna/409225461/">Family</a> <br/> Originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/ranna/">Drab Makyo</a>. </span></div>
<p>Did some ad hoc photojournalism (or at least street photography) today. This family at the Freedom to Marry rally was very nice. One of their little girls had a pride flag and was swinging it about. More <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ranna/sets/72157594567913673/">here</a>&lt;br clear="all"/</p>
<span class="control">Expand all</span>
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<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-03-04 05:54:00</p>
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<!doctype html>
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<head>
<title>Zk | Oh, and also...</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
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<header>
<h1>Zk | Oh, and also...</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>If you substitute Bärenjäger for Amaretto in the Beachfox or Sparkling Beachfox (or Flaming Ferret :D), you get a Honeyfox ^</p>
<span class="control">Expand all</span>
</article>
<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-03-04 07:17:16</p>
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<h1>Zk | All the COOL rangefinders have them..</h1>
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<div style="float: right; margin-left: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ranna/410396961/" title="photo sharing"><img alt="" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/151/410396961_d69c42f74e_m.jpg" style="border: solid 2px #000000;"/></a> <br/> <span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ranna/410396961/">Kayla and Me</a> <br/> Originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/ranna/">Drab Makyo</a>. </span></div>
<p>Light leaks nuuuuu.&lt;br clear="all"/</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-03-04 20:57:26</p>
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<title>Zk | Blasphemy ^^</title>
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<h1>Zk | Blasphemy ^^</h1>
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<blockquote>"Your Man Jesus seems to me a bit of a son of a bitch when it comes to women," Roland said. "Was He ever married?"
The corners of Callahan's mouth quirked. "No," he said, "but His girlfriend was a whore."
"Well," Roland said, "That's a start."</blockquote>
<p>Went over to Kelly's to see her and Linda off last night. Took an Andrew. He and Samir drove the two to DIA while Moondog and I talked. When the got back Andrew called, got called, did stuff, then Samir drove him back to Boulder. I don't know the details, and that's okay.</p>
<p>Yaytalking. Moondog even slept for a good deal of the night, though he was up coughing for a good deal. And pointing at the books on Kelly's shelves while declaring them to be "queer queer queer queer queer." This morning, Samir pounced us, and we futzed around for a while, eating food and drinking beverages, talking and canoodling.</p>
<p>Now I think Andrew and Samir are gonna come over. Either Andrew's gonna stay the night, or pretend he's going to while going to stay with Samir. I don't know. I'm gonna do homework as soon as I finish DT:V. 200 more pages. Should finish tonight</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-03-28 16:50:19</p>
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<title>Zk | AnthroCon.</title>
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<p>So.. uh.. looks like I'll be able to make it to AC after all. Yarp. Staying with <lj user="tealfox"></lj>, I believe</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-03-06 23:50:25</p>
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<title>Zk | Shanerak...</title>
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<p>It's like you're <a href="http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/03/when_in_doubt_h.html">destined</a> to be 'snorgled' by cats. I'm not quite sure what that means, though.</p>
<p><a href="http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2006/07/muzzlepufftomuz.html">And dogs.</a>
<a href="http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2006/02/i_weel_clean_yo.html">And more cats.</a>
<a href="http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/01/waiti_gotta_tak.html">And cell phones</a> (totally true).</p>
<p><a href="http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2006/12/palmolivesoften.html"><em>shower</em></a>
<a href="http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2006/12/lap_ferreeete.html">And laps.</a>
<a href="http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2006/11/go_chiefs.html">Okay,</a> <a href="http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2006/11/ferretshu.html">I'm</a> <a href="http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2006/10/rollin_in_the_p.html">done</a> <a href="http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2006/10/justwokenupfrom.html">now</a> <a href="http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2006/10/remember_when_t.html">:3&lt;/a</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-03-09 05:22:55</p>
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<title>Zk | So.. uh..</title>
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<p>Gotta admit, I kinda want a ferret now, after all those pictures and some reading c.</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-03-09 18:21:52</p>
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<title>Zk | Potential deliciousness</title>
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<div style="float: right; margin-left: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ranna/415918363/" title="photo sharing"><img alt="" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/187/415918363_0da5c2ebfc_m.jpg" style="border: solid 2px #000000;"/></a> <br/> <span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ranna/415918363/">Potential deliciousness</a> <br/> Originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/ranna/">Drab Makyo</a>. </span></div>
<p>Potential deliciousness is quite high in these. Soon, as in two weeks, the will be chocolate liqeuer, made from cacao nibs (the "raw" form of chocolate), rum, and sucanat sugar. In the background is a bottle of home-made vanilla vodka, which should also be good in a bit. :o)&lt;br clear="all"/</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-03-09 23:04:01</p>
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<p>Someone broke into my car last night, moved everything from the front to the back and vice versa, smoked a cigarette, then left. In other news, sleep is pretty spectacular.</p>
<p>Shannon, want to move some stuff this weekend/week</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-03-10 20:36:07</p>
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<h1>Zk | Ghost Matt</h1>
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<div style="float: right; margin-left: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ranna/419086249/" title="photo sharing"><img alt="" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/147/419086249_1e4a36af9f_m.jpg" style="border: solid 2px #000000;"/></a> <br/> <span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ranna/419086249/">Ghost Matt</a> <br/> Originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/ranna/">Drab Makyo</a>. </span></div>
<p>No real substance.&lt;br clear="all"/</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-03-13 01:55:50</p>
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<h1>Zk | Ghost Matt</h1>
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<div style="float: right; margin-left: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ranna/419086412/" title="photo sharing"><img alt="" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/166/419086412_814b4ed44c_m.jpg" style="border: solid 2px #000000;"/></a> <br/> <span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ranna/419086412/">Ghost Matt</a> <br/> Originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/ranna/">Drab Makyo</a>. </span></div>
<p>Gonna be out of town for the next few days, but I'll peek on every now and then. In the mean time, another ghosty picture.&lt;br clear="all"/</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-03-13 18:06:57</p>
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<p>It's time once more for MATT'S GIVING AWAY OR SELLING STUFF!!!xaheihifeawf</p>
<p>Up for grabs this time is:
<lj-raw>
<ul>
<li>One Prett Good Dining Room set: expandable table with wings to widen, four chairs upholstered in fabric carefully distilled from the 1970s. All wood, but all the wood has a vague greenish cast. Sounds unpleasant, but really, the only thing that needs to be done is reupholstering the chairs.</li>
<li>Two scrub shirts, cross type - one sand, one navy.</li>
<li>Several network cards (ethernet)</li>
<li>A few video cards</li>
<li>A few sound cards</li>
<li>Four Pentium III processors 800mHz-1.2gHz</li>
<li>Several CD and CD-R(W) drives and plenty of quick-load track things for Dell computers</li>
<li>Probably a few hard drives, at least 20gb</li>
<li>A few cases with fans included (I could build a budget computer, for you, technically, but you'd have to get the motherboard)</li>
<li>Possibly more...!</li>
</ul></lj-raw></p>
<p>Let me know and we'll fiddle with prices</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-03-19 23:00:42</p>
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<p>I get the feeling I just instigated one of the most awkward evenings in a long time for several people..</p>
<p>Sorry about that</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-03-30 05:37:48</p>
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<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
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<p>Very satisfying FFF tonight. Thanks, folks, for making it neat. :</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-03-31 06:39:46</p>
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<title>Zk | Mweep.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Mweep.</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<blockquote>"Doesn't matter," he sighed. "It's ka."
"Ka," Oy said, then looked up. "Moon. Ka, moon. Moon, ka."
"Shut up," Jake said, not unkindly.
"Shut up ka," Oy said amiably. "Shut up moon. Shut up Ake. Shut up Oy."</blockquote
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<p>Page generated on 2004-03-28 19:43:25</p>
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<title>Zk | Omigoshferret.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Omigoshferret.</h1>
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<article class="content">
<p>Shanerak has a secret love for <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSfGMrjO2G4">towels, stairs, and groovy music.&lt;/a</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-04-01 20:13:05</p>
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<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
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<p><lj-raw>
<table>
<tr>
<td><a href="http://pics.livejournal.com/gv_ranna/pic/0001hba8/g10"><img alt="'Floofcut'" border="0" height="240" src="http://pics.livejournal.com/gv_ranna/pic/0001hba8/s320x240" width="320"/></a></td>
<td><strong>'Floofcut'</strong><br/>
I was told to..</td>
</tr>
</table>
</lj-raw></p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-04-02 01:18:24</p>
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<title>Zk | Sigh.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Sigh.</h1>
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<p>It's not that you <em>can't</em> compose in a rush, just that you <a href="http://makyo.drab-makyo.com/impressionist-sketch_giga-fixed.mp3"><em>shouldn't</em></a>.</p>
<p>EDIT: Better recording - better sample via GigaStudio</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-04-02 06:38:51</p>
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<h1>Zk | Bwrg.</h1>
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<div style="float: right; margin-left: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ranna/445632563/" title="photo sharing"><img alt="" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/212/445632563_6f568851f3_m.jpg" style="border: solid 2px #000000;"/></a> <br/> <span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ranna/445632563/">"Liqueurs de France" Blanche Traditionelle Brut d'Alembic Essai 3</a> <br/> Originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/ranna/">Drab Makyo</a>. </span></div>
<p>Didn't do much today, other than clean and take some pictures, due to being sick and having a concert tonight. Just tried to take it easy and conserve my voice. I guess it worked - Duruflé status: SUCCESS&lt;br clear="all"/</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-04-04 05:34:28</p>
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<title>Zk | Naptime</title>
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<h1>Zk | Naptime</h1>
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<div style="float: right; margin-left: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ranna/447622575/" title="photo sharing"><img alt="" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/170/447622575_280cc98162_m.jpg" style="border: solid 2px #000000;"/></a> <br/> <span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ranna/447622575/">Naptime</a> <br/> Originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/ranna/">Drab Makyo</a>. </span></div>
<p>This is, quite possibly, the cutest picture of my cat I've ever taken.&lt;br clear="all"/</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-04-05 21:38:58</p>
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<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
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<details text="Also..."><summary>Also...</summary>
<a href="http://www.cs.helsinki.fi/u/hprajani/phun/god-v-satan.png"><img src="http://www.cs.helsinki.fi/u/hprajani/phun/god-v-satan.png"/></a>
</details
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<p>Page generated on 2007-04-05 21:56:27</p>
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<title>Zk | Me.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Me.</h1>
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<p><a href="http://ljplus.ru/img3/d/a/dashing/070116_bear.jpg"><img src="http://ljplus.ru/img3/d/a/dashing/070116_bear.jpg"/>&lt;/a</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-04-13 23:47:14</p>
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<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
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<p>My complete ineptitude with inanimate objects made making beer extra hard today. At one point, I got so pissed off at myself that I threw a bottle of red pepper flakes across the room. Of course, the brittle lid shattered, showering the area with sneezables. Fuck. Grr. Damnit. Ended up not as sanitary as I could've been.</p>
<p>Rite of Spring and <a href="http://makyo.drab-makyo.com/googlefox.png">my homepage</a> made me feel a little better</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-04-15 22:18:44</p>
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<title>Zk | Myoozac.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Myoozac.</h1>
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<p>For those of you who pay attention to such things, I'm part way through an antiphonal motet. It's through-composed, so I have no sketch of structure - just the text (De Profundis) guiding what comes next. The neat part about this is that once I finish composing a word or line, it's pretty much set. This way, you can <a href="http://makyo.drab-makyo.com/antiphon-deprofundis.mp3">hear</a> what I have up through the line 'exaudi vocem meam'</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-04-16 09:00:10</p>
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<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
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<p>Migraine this morning. Vision was a little tunneled, but fine, but my sense of smell was pretty messed up. It was weird. Trying to make it to class now</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-04-16 16:37:28</p>
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<title>Zk | Two last quips. And I'm spent.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Two last quips. And I'm spent.</h1>
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<p>Gai cocknif en yom (go shit in the ocean - for all I care)</p>
<p>God grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, the tenacity to change what I may, and the good luck not to fuck up too often</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-03-28 23:50:32</p>
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<title>Zk | :D:D:D</title>
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<h1>Zk | :D:D:D</h1>
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<p><a href="http://www.kscakes.com/LolCats/Detail.aspx/go-wai-iz-naptiem/"><img src="http://www.kscakes.com.nyud.net:8080/LolCats/Uploads/Saved/go-wai-iz-naptiem.jpg"/>&lt;/a</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-04-23 04:25:33</p>
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<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
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<p>Not a good <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fibromyalgia">FMS</a> week. Oooog x.</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-04-25 18:54:59</p>
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<title>Zk | Oh also.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Oh also.</h1>
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<details text="Tarot ramblings"><summary>Tarot ramblings</summary>So last night, I was thinking that since I'm obviously more motivated to take pictures than batik, maybe I'd do a photographic version of the Major Arcana instead :3 After thinking about it for a bit, I decided that, while they might not make good, usable cards, they might make neat pictures to hang on one's wall. With that decision came the idea that I need not strictly follow the symbolism if they're not going to be read that way, so I decided to come up with my own, more abstract symbolism. I used numbers that seemed to be good, and concepts that I've thought about in the past. And accidentally came up with the Major Arcana all over again (with a few transpositions and minor differences). Whups!
<lj-raw>
<ol start="0">
<li><em><strong>Time</strong></em></li>
<li><em>Chaos</em></li>
<li>maternity/conception</li>
<li>paternity/creation</li>
<li>guidance</li>
<li>authority</li>
<li>structure/organization</li>
<li><em>Order</em></li>
<li>consistency</li>
<li>collapse/unwilling change</li>
<li>rebellion/willing change</li>
<li>withdrawal</li>
<li>recognition</li>
<li>restructure/integration</li>
<li><em>Balance</em></li>
<li>elation</li>
<li>exertion</li>
<li>maintenance</li>
<li>release</li>
<li>destruction</li>
<li>creation/rejuvenation</li>
<li><em>full circle/ouroboros</em></li>
</ol></lj-raw>
Dunno if it'll go anywhere, since it's basically the Majors as they are, with a few switcheroos, but who knows :D
</details
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<p>Page generated on 2007-04-25 19:36:25</p>
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<title>Zk | Don' be a putz, y'got some schmutz on ya face..</title>
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<h1>Zk | Don' be a putz, y'got some schmutz on ya face..</h1>
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<p><a href="http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/04/27/babushka-cats-are-in-ur-box-bein-old-wimmens/">Babushka cats are in ur box bein, old wimmens&lt;/a</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-04-28 06:16:51</p>
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<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
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<p><a href=" http://makyo.drab-makyo.com/12tonecomp.mp3">here&lt;/a.&lt;/a</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-05-04 15:05:15</p>
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
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<p><a href="http://makyo.drab-makyo.com/antiphon-deprofundis.mp3">Antiphon - De Profundis</a></p>
<p>About half way done now</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-05-05 08:34:51</p>
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<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
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<p>I have lots to write about, but instead, I'd rather point out that Shanerak's kind of a mix between <a href="http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/05/11/do-want-2/">this</a> and <a href="http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/05/bethany_h.html">this</a></p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-05-12 17:20:44</p>
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<title>Zk | The Promised Post</title>
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<h1>Zk | The Promised Post</h1>
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<p>So I'm finally done with the semester. Took long enough.</p>
<p>These last two weeks have been particularly busy - I finally finished that piece for the two graduating grad students, and I think it turned out really well. Having to crunch for a piece isn't something I've had too much experience with, and it turned out to be really fun. It was sort of like NaNoWriMo in that after a certain point of deciding on structure and sonority, it felt less like I was writing music and more like I was exploring something that was already there - more like reading than writing. I got it printed up all pretty at Kinkos and both the recipients seemed to enjoy the piece.</p>
<p>Finals were pretty unspectacular, but during finals week, I had a few neat things happen. I wound up with a job at the Morgan Library as a help desk tech, which should prove to not only be reasonably fun and well paid, but with a good chance of moving up to working with the servers and with Sage Catalog. Then, on Thursday night, I drove Elliott down to Boulder after he invited me to participate in his Sufi Zikr ceremony. While I'm certainly not going to convert to Islam, it was definitely a very powerful experience, and well worth participating in. I had very little in the way of expectations, so it was neat to participate in something so completely different.</p>
<p>Today I picked up a bunch of Górecki and a book, Litany of the Sun by Gene Wolfe. Looks to be a fun summer</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-05-12 21:40:20</p>
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<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
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<p>Had a few weird dreams last night. The first was about some sort of mystical order that perfected time travel via a few carefully planned deaths (the traveler's and someone in the order at the destination). I apparently hated concert band SO MUCH that I had to go back in time for some reason. I ended up waking up when my death was particularly gruesome. Or.. well.. I half woke up, but really just slipped into another dream where <lj user="rikoshi"></lj> had called, and I told him about the dream before falling asleep on the phone.</p>
<p>The second dream was about a few gangsters robbing an IHOP <lj user="senotay"></lj> and I were eating at. I was a badass in that dream :3 *win</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-05-14 14:15:55</p>
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<title>Zk | Shit.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Shit.</h1>
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<p>I just woke up. Just now. At 2. I may be fucked. Math I can ditch, latin I can fake, but I need to do my goddamned story</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-03-29 13:00:26</p>
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<title>Zk | Job.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Job.</h1>
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<p>So.. uh.. this job's pretty neat. The fact that I lurve libraries certainly helps. Plus, it feels nice to be treated like a proper geek. :</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-05-14 22:21:44</p>
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<!doctype html>
<html>
<head>
<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width" />
<meta charset="utf-8" />
</head>
<body>
<main>
<header>
<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>One of the neat things about this job so far is the complete absurdity of some of the tasks. I just rode in the back of a flat-bed truck with an Indian guy and over 70 CRTs stacked two high, and it's only 9:30.</p>
<p>Hard to get used to double monitors, though - I always go too far with my mouse</p>
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</article>
<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-05-15 15:26:01</p>
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<!doctype html>
<html>
<head>
<title>Zk | Woot.</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width" />
<meta charset="utf-8" />
</head>
<body>
<main>
<header>
<h1>Zk | Woot.</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>Wrote my first bit of Perl in YEARS! Well, months, at least. Some stupid little script to run as a scheduled task so that I can track FMS symptoms. :D</p>
<p>Nearly forgot how to use heredocs</p>
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</article>
<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-05-21 17:45:13</p>
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<head>
<title>Zk | Hee.</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
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<body>
<main>
<header>
<h1>Zk | Hee.</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p><a href="http://www.avclub.com/content/feature/15_things_kurt_vonnegut_said">Why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling donut? Why don't you take a flying fuck at the moooooooooon?!&lt;/a</p>
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</article>
<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-05-22 17:56:58</p>
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<html>
<head>
<title>Zk | Blrg.</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
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<body>
<main>
<header>
<h1>Zk | Blrg.</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>So, when I first started working here, it was suggested that I might have some useful talent and that I should speak up if I had any skills. I did so, but nothing piqued interest.</p>
<p>Apparently, I have been hiding the fact that I'm pretty quick when it comes to making Cat-5 cable. Woo. Been making cable all morning. x.</p>
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<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-05-24 16:48:46</p>
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<html>
<head>
<title>Zk | Hmf.</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width" />
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</head>
<body>
<main>
<header>
<h1>Zk | Hmf.</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>Never used <code>JOIN</code>s before, so can someone tell me if I'm doing this right?</p>
<p><code>SELECT wcmsVertices.*, wcmsDiffs.modifer, wcmsDiffs.mtime, wcmsDiffs.reason FROM wcmsVertices RIGHT JOIN wcmsDiffs USING (id) WHERE wcmsVerticies.id = '$vertex' ORDER BY wcmsDiffs DESC LIMIT 1;</code></p>
<p>I want to select everything from wcmsVertices and the three specified fields from wcmsDiffs where the 'id' fields are both equal to $vertex. If there's more than one Diff, though, I want to only grab the most recent one</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-05-24 18:41:25</p>
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<html>
<head>
<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
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</head>
<body>
<main>
<header>
<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>Anyone know anything about XML::Parser in perl? Their documentation is.. lacking. c.</p>
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<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-05-25 19:10:45</p>
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<html>
<head>
<title>Zk | Whelp..</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
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<body>
<main>
<header>
<h1>Zk | Whelp..</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>Some crazy ferret decided to be an enabler and got me a rename token, so now I'm <lj user="drab_makyo"></lj>. I'm guessing some folk might not be too pleased with this, but.. too bad :3 Everything should be transferred over fully, like friends lists and the like, but let me know if you have any problems.</p>
<p>Thanks, Shan ^</p>
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<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-05-29 05:01:15</p>
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<!doctype html>
<html>
<head>
<title>Zk | Ryaaaan.</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
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<body>
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<header>
<h1>Zk | Ryaaaan.</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>I spent a good 45 minutes on the phone with the WA-SP today. Nice guy. Got to hear about how he worked in the dorms, too; how he had a friend who had a Japanese mother, too; how he played the trumpet. I learned as much about him as your future job :3</p>
<p>Good luck</p>
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<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-05-29 20:51:46</p>
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<!doctype html>
<html>
<head>
<title>Zk | Behehehe.</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
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<meta charset="utf-8" />
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<body>
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<header>
<h1>Zk | Behehehe.</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>So.. uh.. <a href="http://makyo.drab-makyo.com/rannalector1.jpg">MERRY'S FRIGGIN' AWESOME</a>.</p>
<p>Posted without permission, of course. I'll take it down if need be :</p>
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</article>
<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-05-30 02:19:29</p>
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<head>
<title>Zk | Megh.</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
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<body>
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<header>
<h1>Zk | Megh.</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>My will to do homework has departed. I'll take the ten percent off for an extension. I need the sleep. Didn't get much last night. I never seem to when I'm over at Kelly's</p>
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<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2004-03-30 22:26:08</p>
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<head>
<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
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<body>
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<header>
<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>Iz goan RAIN! RAAAAIIN!</p>
<p>I can feel it in mah bones :3</p>
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</article>
<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-06-01 16:20:57</p>
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<title>Zk | I was getting a little stressed...</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
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<header>
<h1>Zk | I was getting a little stressed...</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>...Until I was shown <a href="http://img.4chan.org/b/src/1180733161654.gif">this</a>.</p>
<p>D</p>
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<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-06-01 21:57:38</p>
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<head>
<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width" />
<meta charset="utf-8" />
</head>
<body>
<main>
<header>
<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>Cops!</p>
<p>Lots of cops!</p>
<p>Green Van Man may get arrested. :</p>
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<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-06-02 07:42:05</p>
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<!doctype html>
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<head>
<title>Zk | RMFC</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
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<header>
<h1>Zk | RMFC</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>Reasonably fun con, for the few hours I was there :o) Sorry I had to drag people off so soon. Ah well, I got a <a href="http://makyo.drab-makyo.com/cp-makyo.png">sketch</a> out of it from a friend from long ago. :</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-03 23:35:29</p>
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<!doctype html>
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<head>
<title>Zk | Behehe.</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
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<h1>Zk | Behehe.</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>New icon. And I didn't even ask permission :</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-05 00:00:03</p>
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<title>Zk | Shanerak!</title>
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<h1>Zk | Shanerak!</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>Sorry I missed <a href="http://i0005.photobucket.com/albums/0005/icanhascheezburger/128253250566406250halpR2D2beea.jpg">your </a>calls D: I was getting beeped at by schizophrenic people, then getting fed peanut butter and pickle slices on crackers. Vomitacious</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-05 05:17:29</p>
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<!doctype html>
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<title>Zk | Holey buckets!</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
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<h1>Zk | Holey buckets!</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/129 - a video about a new technology
http://labs.live.com/photosynth/default.html - a demo of that technology</p>
<p>The goal behind this program is sort of what I'm trying to accomplish with what I've been doing with my website - making pages all the more meaningful because of how they're linked together. Neat</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-06 19:53:45</p>
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<title>Zk | First corrugation</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
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<header>
<h1>Zk | First corrugation</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ranna/537605825/" title="photo sharing"><img alt="" src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1383/537605825_93e9307efe_m.jpg" style="border: solid 2px #000000;"/></a> <br/> <span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ranna/537605825/">First corrugation</a> <br/> Originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/ranna/">Drab Makyo</a> </span></div>
<p>I spent the first hour or so of my day today corrugating paper. Unfortunately, the paper I was using (cheapo origami paper) didn't last for the whole sheet of corrugating, and I had to cut the bottom tatters off. Still enough for a nice-ish macro shot.&lt;br clear="all"/</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-09 20:50:24</p>
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<!doctype html>
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<head>
<title>Zk | This week's interest (cont.)</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
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<header>
<h1>Zk | This week's interest (cont.)</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<div style="float: right; margin-left: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px;"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ranna/539198721/" title="photo sharing"><img alt="" src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1352/539198721_9839cf06c1_m.jpg" style="border: solid 2px #000000;"/></a> <br/> <span style="font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ranna/539198721/">IMG_3264s</a> <br/> Originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/ranna/">Drab Makyo</a> </span></div>
<p>Folding more. It passes the time.&lt;br clear="all"/</p>
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<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-06-10 19:15:24</p>
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<head>
<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>Maybe one day when I'm independently wealthy, I'll be able to afford a nice bike, but for now, $3k is too much to drop at once @.</p>
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<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-06-10 22:29:57</p>
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<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
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<header>
<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>I'm makin' plans,
I'm headin' out;
Not a thing to do
But head on out.</p>
<p>This snippet has been brought to you by Empathic Connections (tm)! Enjoy having your emotions tied to random people so that you can have mood swings for no immediately apparent reason. <em>joy</em>
<em>sarcasm</em></p>
<p>Wow, I got all self centered. Hmm. Sorry if I offended c.</p>
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<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2004-03-30 23:21:35</p>
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<title>Zk | Behehe</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
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<h1>Zk | Behehe</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p><a href="http://makyo.drab-makyo.com/apron/IMG_3272s.png">Thanks, Oz</a> :3</p>
<p>EDIT: Caption contest for the above link. :3</p>
<p>My entry: "After sprinkling with some thyme, I then like to backhand the bitch, just to tenderize it a little.</p>
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<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-06-11 03:48:44</p>
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<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css" />
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>Hey Ferret, whatcha think? Mom's taking me to look at cars D:</p>
<p><a href="http://denver.craigslist.org/car/350115307.html">'91 Camry, $1450</a></p>
<p>or</p>
<p><a href="http://denver.craigslist.org/car/349344191.html">'91 CRX, $1950&lt;/a</p>
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<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-06-12 17:37:04</p>
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<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p>Shaky connections make programming hard. Thank goodness for screen.</p>
<p>Still looking at cars, I guess. Mostly Hondas and Toyotas, '88-'95</p>
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<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-06-13 16:00:09</p>
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<title>Zk | Slow Day</title>
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<h1>Zk | Slow Day</h1>
</header>
<article class="content">
<p><a href="http://www.finnchan.fi/b/files/1181882646/1/1_1174172341704.jpg">What...</a></p>
<p>EDIT: <a href="http://www.fotocommunity.de/pc/pc/cat/1047/display/9261079">Also...&lt;/a</p>
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<footer>
<p>Page generated on 2007-06-14 20:30:39</p>
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<title>Zk | BAHAHAHAHA</title>
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<h1>Zk | BAHAHAHAHA</h1>
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<article class="content">
<p>I just spent $522 on a used bike.</p>
<p><em>Man</em> is it a nifty bike :o) The shifters are going to take some getting used to, alas, as are the brakes</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-19 01:16:41</p>
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<title>Zk | Today's ride</title>
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<h1>Zk | Today's ride</h1>
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<p>15.6 miles (From the library, north to Mountain, West to Overland Trail, South to Elizabeth, east to Taft Hill, south to Horsetooth, East to the mall, north to Stover, north to Prospect, west to Whedbee, north to Matthews, west home)</p>
<p>Max: 26.6 mph, Avg: ... can't find it. Stupid comp.</p>
<p>Took about an hour, with two ten-minute breaks - one at Recycled Cycles to thank them for the suggestion, and one when I ran into Richard</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-20 00:47:24</p>
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<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
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<p>Feelin' good despite the ride yesterday. Physically, at least. Mentally, I'm pissed at this stupid shifting pay dates thing. I'd like my monies ;.</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-20 14:38:33</p>
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<title>Zk | Meme and picture</title>
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<h1>Zk | Meme and picture</h1>
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<p>So.. today I had to install Acrobat for a woman named Lori Oling. Like most large businesses, our usernames tend to be a combination of initials and names. </p>
<p>Hehehe. \loling</p>
<p>Stolen from ferrets:</p>
<p>Ask me to take a picture of any aspect of my life that you're interested in/curious about - it can be anything from the house I live in to my favorite shoes. Leave your choice here as a comment, and I will reciprocate by taking the pictures and posting them as an LJ entry. That way you get to know a little bit about my life.</p>
<p>Also, <details text="a picture of my bike:"><summary>a picture of my bike:</summary>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ranna/577787209/" title="Photo Sharing"><img alt="Foxbike" height="332" src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1231/577787209_6c97bf84af.jpg" width="500"/></a>
(click more and larger pictures on Flickr)</p>
<p>&lt;/details</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-20 21:23:45</p>
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<title>Zk | Today's ride</title>
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<h1>Zk | Today's ride</h1>
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<p>10.7 miles (Pitkin east to Lemay, north to one mile past Vine, south to Vine, east to College, south to Lincoln, east to Remington, south to Laurel, east to campus and around there [the oval is .4 miles around], east to Remington, north home)</p>
<p>Max: 26.9 Avg: Don't have that function, doh.</p>
<p>Stupid headwind wore me out at around mile 3, then some bitch honked at me when I was trying to get cleated in, and I fell on the saddle. Nice bruised perineum. x.</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-21 03:20:58</p>
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<title>Zk | Blarg</title>
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<h1>Zk | Blarg</h1>
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<article class="content">
<p>No internet at home, and I can't get in to fix it due to a BUNCH OF NAKED GIRLS, so I'm at the 'Cat. Rode a little today. Eleven mile jaunt to pick up a tube from RecycledCycles and thank the guy who sold me the bike, and get some groceries at King Soopers. Need to get ahold of John, so I can figure out this internet mess</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-22 03:56:40</p>
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<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
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<p>This has to be the worst attack I've had since 6th grade. What little bit I was getting from Michael (who is in no way at fault for this - so don't even think of appologizing) earlier seems to have triggered something. At the risk of sounding angsty, here goes: these are quite simply the most vivid suicidal thoughts I've had yet - everything from wondering how much it'd hurt to be stabbed with a soldering iron to whether it might be better to kill myself like they kill kosher cows: with a sharp blade to the neck, so that all they feel is dizziness and falling asleep as the blood drains; these are the worst thoughts regarding school I've had yet this year, mostly tied to the emotions of helplessness and pointlessness; and this is the most scared I've been, period. I've got it running in the background (heh, yeah, ctrl-z; bg emotions) right now, and I'm going to try and let it run itself out. I staggered out of bed, crying (imagine that..), to go look for sleepytime tea so that maybe I could sleep it off, but I couldn't find that, so instead I'm going to write it out - express myself and all that, while perhaps trying to garner some pity. Maybe I could pick up on that instead, so that I could realize what a sorry dolt I must seem like and just snap out of it</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-03-31 00:30:21</p>
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
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<p>Had very vivid nightmares last night about being sentenced to death. Not death row, or anything, just a committee that decided I was going to die <em>tomorrow</em>. The let me do whatever I wanted for a 24 hours or whatever, but very few people that I told believed that I was actually going to die the next day. I walked around, concerned about what would happen when I suddenly didn't show up for work, didn't come home, never visited parents, never connected to the internet again.. I mentioned several times in the dream that I wasn't too worried about my death, about how it would feel or if I would go anywhere after that, so much as that I either wouldn't get to say goodbye to people that I cared about, or that the people I did say goodbye to never believed me. It was infuriating - and by the time the scheduled execution came around, I was ready and willing just because I was so frustrated with trying to get people to take me seriously - I walked proudly into the circular room, and went out the door on the other side and, á là Terry Prachett's Lord Vetinary's door, fell down a Very Deep Hole on the other side. That's when I woke up.</p>
<p>Today, Elliott, one of my very good composer friends, stopped by my work specifically to say goodbye to me, so that felt really good - to actually be earnest in a farewell after a dream lacking those from others.</p>
<p>Today's ride should be a long one. Taking the Spring Creek trail South, West along Harmony to either Taft hill or Overland Trail, north to LaPorte, East and South home.</p>
<p>EDIT: some links from today: <a href="http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/hedge/archive/hedge-20070621.html">There's a comic strip?</a>. Also, <a href="http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/photo/2007-06/22/content_900473.htm">cute :3&lt;/a</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-22 21:04:06</p>
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<title>Zk | Today's Ride</title>
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<h1>Zk | Today's Ride</h1>
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<p>19.4 miles. Damnit! So close :o) Well, I rode to the furmeet, so when I ride home, I'll top twenty for the day. I explored the set of trails out east of the city today. It's a shame Ryan isn't around I think he'd have really liked it. The only downside is that the shitty repair of the asphalt trail (honestly, who repairs asphalt with concrete?) might've un-trued my front wheel. Damn. Oh well. I rode the whole length of both the Spring Creek and the Poudre trail.</p>
<p>Max: 29.7 mph (!!!) So close! Maybe if I'd done it in the middle of the ride instead of at the end.</p>
<p>Took about an hour or so. Stupid headwind. Oh well. 67 miles on the bike so far.</p>
<p>EDIT: 21.5 miles total today, minus back and forth from work</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-23 02:31:55</p>
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<title>Zk | Seems to be going around..</title>
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<h1>Zk | Seems to be going around..</h1>
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<article class="content">
<div id="testResultInfo">
<h1><!--t-->Your Score<!--/t-->: <span>Unaffected</span></h1>
<h2>Result: 31. Your score isn't an achievement, it just is.</h2>
<p>
Psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen and his colleagues at Cambridge's Autism Research Centre have created the Autism-Spectrum Quotient, or AQ, as a measure of the extent of autistic traits in adults. In the first major trial using the test, the average score in the control group was 16.4. Eighty percent of those diagnosed with autism or a related disorder scored 32 or higher. The test is not a means for making a diagnosis, however, and many who score above 32 and even meet the diagnostic criteria for mild autism or Asperger's report no difficulty functioning in their everyday lives.
You scored less than 32. Make your own assessment of that
</p>
</div>
<table cellpadding="20"><tr><td><!--t-->Link: <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=1982215450153908026">The Asperger's Syndrome Test</a> written by <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/profile?u=beachbummer">beachbummer</a> on <a href="http://www.okcupid.com">OkCupid Free Online Dating</a>, home of the <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/online.dating.persona.test">The Dating Persona Test<!--/t--></a></td></tr></table
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-23 20:30:29</p>
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<title>Zk | Blrg</title>
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<h1>Zk | Blrg</h1>
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<article class="content">
<p>Edit: I like how all it posted was 'a'. Stupid LJ.</p>
<p>What I actually wrote up was another 'Today's Ride' post. Short little thing. Only went 7.3 miles, but I had fun noodling around. Also, Max of 32 miles per hour, which I would've been able to sustain longer had the guy driving next to me had noticed me and hadn't tried to cut me off. Thankfully, he did notice me, and shouted out an apology. Huzzah.</p>
<p>Got my first flat today, too. Once again, right outside a bike shop. Oh well. Now I know how to get the tube out on this bike</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-23 23:57:40</p>
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<h1>Zk | Tonight's ride</h1>
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<p>Rode off another 11.8 miles of stress, all in search of Ovaltine D: No one had any</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-24 08:21:44</p>
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<p>Tonights nightmare was about bees that implanted their eggs in my body. It wasn't so much that they stung, that the eggs hatched inside and little bees did their best to escape my body from my blood stream, no matter where they were. If you've ever read Neal Stephenson's Diamond Age, I guess they're kinda like 'cookie cutters'.</p>
<p>Effin' sick</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-24 18:46:07</p>
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
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<p>So, looks like the for-rent sign is up outside the complex. Dunno if anyone who reads this is looking, but I can vouch for this place being pretty fabulous. Good landlord, excellent location, spacious 2-bedroom apartments for $620 a month, all utilities included, cats allowed.. Only downside I know of is the freakin' train two blocks away. Kinda noisy</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-24 23:04:58</p>
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<title>Zk | Whaaaa...</title>
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<h1>Zk | Whaaaa...</h1>
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<p>Short and unimpressive ride tonight - 12.1 miles - except for a few things: Max: 32.4 mph. Also, since I got the bike Monday, I've ridden 100 miles on it so far :D Feels good. Hopefully I can keep it up ^</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-25 03:56:06</p>
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<title>Zk | Gotta pass it on..</title>
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<h1>Zk | Gotta pass it on..</h1>
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<p><a href="http://www.fotocommunity.de/pc/pc/cat/2601/display/9359507"><em>snoof!</em>&lt;/a</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-25 16:56:26</p>
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<title>Zk | Warfles.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Warfles.</h1>
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<p>Androoo.. need to know which house!</p>
<p>In other news, today sucked right up until biology, where Kiran made me happy. Fank 'oo, Kiraaaaan.</p>
<p>I have an mp3 that I like, but it has clicks in it. Any way to get rid of those</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-03-31 14:57:57</p>
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
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<p>"If you're maybe noticing that you're older than you used to be, and are feeling sad/angry/confused/worried/frustrated that you haven't accomplished as much as you/other people in your present or past/annoyingly critical voices inside your head think you should have, and if you're maybe feeling something like "I'm not a real grownup like everyone else," and if you're maybe also feeling sad/angry/confused/worried/frustrated that your body isn't working the way it used to, and you're maybe thinking, "if that's true then how am I going to DO all those accomplishments that I/other people/voices in my head think I ought or want to do?", and maybe you're also wondering how are you going to dig out from under the accumulation of habit and procrastination and self-doubt to some sense of satisfaction in your life again, then post this same sentence in your journal.</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-27 01:09:00</p>
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<title>Zk | Bike-a-hoo.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Bike-a-hoo.</h1>
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<p>Figured I'd quit spamming you all with daily ride details. Instead, I stuffed it all up on <a href="http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=p0ZBytBwQtDvd7ihlhr_1Jg">Google Spreadsheets</a>, for those who actually plan on keeping track (read: me). May give weekly updates like <lj user="kianir"></lj>, tho' :o</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-27 02:21:26</p>
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<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
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<p>I was lied to. I was promised free breakfast if I biked to work. Well, HERE I AM. I had to go buy a bagel in the student center, since I didn't eat at home</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-27 15:28:50</p>
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<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
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<p>So, I guess every six months or so, I have to reaffirm my hatred for Tequila. Luckily, this time, I had Doc and Shannon to share the experience with, after Ryan and Merry left. Since I'd felt bad that I hadn't gotten back online, I was tempted to drunk-dial some ferret, but the time difference made me feel guilty. Guess I wasn't quite drunk enough. Until I got up to Shannon's room, where I sorta almost fell asleep on her chair c.</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-28 19:13:24</p>
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<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
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<p>Comin' up on another 100 mile week. Also, figured out a way to approximate average miles per hour, assuming that I rode pretty steadily - total distance rode divided by total time for the ride. Updated the <a href="http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=p0ZBytBwQtDvd7ihlhr_1Jg">spreadsheet</a> accordingly, and stuffed a link on my LJ link list to remind myself. With AC next week, I don't know that I'll be able to pull another 100 miles out of my butt, having only two days to ride (I think two fifty mile days are a little beyond me), but oh well. I'll hopefully still be able to do okay when I get back</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-30 00:54:34</p>
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<title>Zk | First-hand dookery.</title>
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<h1>Zk | First-hand dookery.</h1>
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<p>Stopped by the petstore to look for claw covers for Sera. Unfortunately, they require that I clip her claws before I put them on (which is what I was hoping to avoid). Sooooo I went and looked at the ferrets. Playing ferrets is probably one of the cutest things I've ever seen. Three sables, one brown, and one albino, who was having a grand old time in his food dish. Effin' adorable, dookin' all over the place</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-06-30 19:29:29</p>
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<title>Zk | Blrgh!</title>
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<h1>Zk | Blrgh!</h1>
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<p>So, probably the worst ride so far, weather-wise, but hey, I did it. Another 100 mile week. And I half-take-back what I've been saying about FoCo not being bike-friendly. The trail system is more extensive than I thought. Granted, trails aren't exactly as bike-friendly as a good, well paved bike path, but still, better than some shit they call bike paths.</p>
<p>EDIT: Also, <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ranna/687884731/"><em>hat</em>&lt;/a</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-07-02 02:46:47</p>
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<!doctype html>
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<title>Zk | AC.</title>
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<h1>Zk | AC.</h1>
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<p>Con, mothafuckahs.</p>
<p>I mean.. I'll be there, starting tomorrow evening. Hope to see plenty of folk there. My number is 303-818-5943 for those who want to call. Since I need to bring my computer in order to work on my composition portfolio, I'll post my room number when I find out.</p>
<p>Good luck</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-07-03 19:36:10</p>
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<title>Zk | Heh.</title>
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<h1>Zk | Heh.</h1>
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<p>No one asked, but in case y'all were wondering what I do at work all day..</p>
<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ranna/709687168/" title="Photo Sharing"><img alt="What I do all day 1" height="75" src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1219/709687168_444edbd8ba_t.jpg" width="100"/></a> | <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ranna/709687264/" title="Photo Sharing"><img alt="What I do all day 2" height="75" src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1191/709687264_b2dcc53ee5_t.jpg" width="100"/>&lt;/a</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-07-03 22:41:53</p>
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<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
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<p>Today's aggregator put me in something of a <a href="http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/07/04/attack/">win</a> / <a href="http://xkcd.com/c285.html">win</a> situation</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2007-07-04 14:51:07</p>
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<title>Zk | [no subject]</title>
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<h1>Zk | [no subject]</h1>
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<p>OASOS was odd. Samir made me wear some of his European clothes, which are actually pretty nice. We discussed the future of OASOS - in other words, we took the most boulderish, friendly, bureaucratic way to.. something, I don't even know what, that we could. So we didn't stay for small group. Instead, we went to Fascinations, where Samir and Mikey scared Vulpine and I. After, coffee at Caffe Sole. I felt extremely off and very unplayful, even with biting and such. I mumbled about it being awkward with Samir there, but that was just to get it out of the way. I didn't know it at the time, but now I'm guessing that it most likely has to do with sleep-deprevation. It was still quite good to see Michael again. Should be alright by friday, when we're apparently going to AA, then clubbing, where Samir's and Mikey are conspiring to get Vulpine and I to dance by grinding with each other. Ah well. Should be fun to watch :o</p>
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<p>Page generated on 2004-03-31 21:25:17</p>
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