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%title Limerent Object (WT)
:short-story:fiction:sawtooth:furry:
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For RAWR, a [prequel ](discernment )
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### Brief outline
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* [o] The slow formation of a crush
* [o] Falling for anyone who's the slightest bit nice to you
* [o] Intolerable limerence
* [o] Limerence as unwanted emotional attraction
* [o] pining
* [o] dreaming about just being close, casual affection, etc
* [o] Not wanting to talk about it b/c afraid of coercion
* [o] Just try to be the best person you can be for them
* [.] Except that just makes it all the more intense
* [ ] Crisis point and denouement
* [ ] Bounce off each other at some point and the limerence starts to fade
* [ ] Picture what would have happened had they gotten together.
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Told in the form of journal entries after long online conversations, complete with snippets
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Goal: 40-50k words
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(why leave seminary: with church heading toward tending only to the members of the church, Dee felt as though he was leaving behind large swaths of people)
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(why the sense of duty and control: old-fashioned family of blue-collar coyotes - domestic animals being royalty, remember - pushed hard to lift him up)
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Epigraph: εκαρδίωσας ημάς ενί από οφθαλμών σ ο υ σ ο υ
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### Characters
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* Dewí "Dee" Kimana
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* Coyote guy
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* Psychologist
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* Raised (and still is) very religious
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* Has a crush on...
* Kay
* Coyote gal
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* Music grad student at UI Boise
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* Transferred after a year, met in the last few weeks of shared class
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* Not religious, and that's the thing that they bounce off each other on down the line
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* Jeremy
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* Dee's therapist
* Encourages Dee to start journaling as a way to work through these new emotions
* Rev. Dr. Borenson
* Saint Bernard
* Dee's old advisor at St John's university
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## Story
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### Using romance beats
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1. [O] [Goal/agenda ](beats/01-agenda )
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* [O] [10 ](10 ) --- Starting to journal
* [O] [21 ](21 ) --- Session on discernment with client
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2. [O] [Meet cute ](beats/02-meet-cute ) (working backwards)
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* [O] [20 ](20 ) --- Meet at library
* [O] [30 ](30 ) --- Thinking back to first crush
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3. [O] [No way #1 ](beats/03-no-way-1 )
* [O] [40 ](40 ) --- the dream
* [O] [50 ](50 ) --- post dream, left on a whim, why?
* [O] [60 ](60 ) --- couldn't tell, neurodivergent
* [O] [Celibacy ](no-way-1-celibacy ) --- A bit more about that.
4. [O] [Stuck together ](beats/04-stuck-together )
* [O] [31 ](31 ) --- Lunch 1: first lunch, actually chatting
* [O] [51 ](51 ) --- Lunch 2: lent
* [O] [72 ](72 ) --- Lunch 3: post-recital
5. [O] [No way #2 ](beats/05-no-way-2 )
* [O] [61 ](61 ) --- confession
* [O] [71 ](71 ) --- egodystonic attraction
* [O] [70 ](70 )? --- talk with jeremy
* [O] [Crowds + presentation ](no-way-2-1 ) --- have to write presentation
* [O] [Notes ](no-way-2-2 ) --- outlining presentation
* [O] [Essay + conversation with Kay abt it ](no-way-2-3 ) --- presentation (also includes notes)
6. [O] [Bone town ](beats/06-bone-town )
* [O] A: Visit, finally acknowledge feelings may be real (okay but are they actually gonna bone (probably not))
7. [O] Seeds of doubt
* [O] [Wallow #1 ](beats/07-seeds-of-doubt--1-wallow-1 ) - I knew better when...
* [O] A: [Weird concert/dinner ](wallow-1-concert-feast )
* [O] B: [Discernment - discussion with Borenson ](lo-discernment-1 )
* [O] [Retreat ](beats/07-seeds-of-doubt--2-retreat ) - soft spots exposed
* [O] [52 ](52 ) --- Remembering talking with god after moving back to sawtooth
* [O] [53 ](53 ) --- Talking about previous entry, then goes for hike
* [O] [Discernment - talk with god, decide to go with it ](lo-discernment-3 )
* [O] [Choose fear ](beats/07-seeds-of-doubt--3-choose-fear ) - break up!
* [O] A: [Hanging out, reading ???: totes not going to work out ](choose-fear-1 )
* [O] B: [Discernment - struggling with self definition ](lo-discernment-2 )
* [O] [Wallow #2 ](beats/07-seeds-of-doubt--4-wallow-2 )
* [O] B: [Discernment - leaving ](lo-discernment-4 )
* [O] A: [Going home, feeling rough re: giving up ](wallow-2 )
* [O] [Bit more ](wallow-2-2 ) Maybe one more? Otherwise, he goes from pretty mopey to kind of positive fairly suddenly.
8. [O] [Choose love ](beats/08-choose-love )
* [O] A: Decide maybe it's worth it as a way to move forward for once
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9. [O] [Plan ](beats/09-plan )
* [O] A: [Email boogaloo ](plan-1 ) --- Drafts email, sending a few before to build up the expectation of emails being a thing
* [O] B: [Ask God ](plan-2 ) --- Talks to god
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10. [o] [Grand gesture ](beats/10-grand-gesture )
* [o] [90 ](90 ) --- The Conversation™ (winds up not actually sending the email ha ha whoops, just starts conversation over text)
11. [o] [Ends with "no" ](beats/11-ends-with-no )
* [o] A: Kay had picked up on it, decides pretty firmly on her end that she wants to keep friendship. Sigh, ah well. (merged with above)
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12. [o] [Payoff ](beats/12-payoff ) (probably just one chapter of what-ifs)
* [o] A: Limerence fades, settle back into new, more open friendship/what could have been
* [o] B: Doubt fades, settle into lay life/what could have been
13. [o] [Epilogue/hope ](beats/13-epilogue ) (again, probably just one chapter)
* [o] A: Plans another visit/okay being friends
* [o] B: Starts volunteering MH counselling services at church. --- Feast of St KT.
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### Old outline
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* [O] Act I
* [O] [Starting to journal ](10 )
* [O] [Liminal spaces and history ](20 )
* [O] [A sudden memory ](21 )
* [O] [Early crush ](30 )
* [O] [Lunch 1 with Kay ](31 )
* [O] [A dream ](40 )
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* [o] Act II
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* [o] [Leaving seminary vs liking Kay ](50 )
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* [o] [Lunch 2 with Kay ](51 )
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* [o] [Talking with god part 1 ](52 ) !
* [ ] [Talking with god part 2 ](53 ) !
* [ ] [Visiting Kay part 1 ](54 ) !
* [ ] [Visiting Kay part 2 ](55 ) !
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* [o] [Dee chickens out ](60 )
* [o] [Confession ](61 )
* [o] [Projection ](70 )
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* [o] [Egodystonic attraction ](71 )
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* [ ] [Lunch 3 with Kay ](72 )
* [.] Act III
* [ ] [Calling Borenson ](80 )
* [ ] [Talking with God ](86 )
* [ ]
* [.] [The conversation ](90 )
* [ ] Conclusion
* [ ] What would have happened
* [ ] Talking with God again
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### Todo
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* [.] Include more Job/Ecclesiastes-type thoughts
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* [ ] Quote scripture?
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* [X] Integrate prequel in Dee's words
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* [ ] Flesh out between current chapters.
* [ ] Takes place around July 14, feast of St Kateri Tekakwitha
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* [ ] Make Dee's qualms about the church more in line with Discernment and less about doctrine of good works (because that's actually totally the catholics' thing)
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* [ ] A few subplots!
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[Feedback ](feedback ).
